The Struggles of a Millennial Jehovah's Witness in Search of Belonging at the Kingdom Hall 

I never felt like I fit in either it’s one of the reasons I’m no longer a witness.

I never fit in either. It took me 30 years to realize that I don’t have strict conservative values and that’s why. I thought I was an unlikeable person until I dropped the religion and found that I can make friends with non-JWs just fine.

For the entire 28yrs I was in I never felt like I fit in either.

The reason why the organization is constantly changing is because IT WASN'T THE TRUTH TO BEGIN WITH!!!

I started reading "Crisis of Conscience" just finished chapter 3 and already explosive revelations about this religion. I am glad Bro. Franz wrote this spoke because it puts a lot of things in perspective.

I can so identify with her story. I didn’t fit in either. I was between a few Kingdom Halls because of my parents divorcing, father got reinstated and married his mistress. Lots of dysfunction, but going between their congregations and trying to make friends with the kids my age was hard because it was only this select group, which most had different interests, had their own friends and it was hard. One of the major reasons I left and I have MANY, was just so I could make my own friends on my own terms. It is not organic in the Kingdom Hall and you had splinters of complete double lifers and those that were like JW zealots. Where could a somewhat intellectual Afro punk/neo soul artistic soul fit in? Nowhere. However when I left and made my own friends, I had a blast - certainly wasn’t perfect, but it was freeing. It was the best and most important decision of my life. Thanks for the interview, Lady Cee! Many blessings.

Being a JW is like being grounded for life.

Thank you SO much for having me. This was healing and I’m hoping I give people hope it gets better! ❤️ and we will fit in somewhere!

As a kid I always wanted to play little league baseball with my school peers but was denied that bc we had to go to meetings & "bad association" "worldly kids"

She described my best friend to a tee. Was dfed , life spiraled out of control, tried to come back to JW, but was never fully repented / good enough to get reinstated, family and friends shunned him, etc. He ended up od'ing in a motel room. I blame WT 1000%.

Same, same, same. I was told school was a distraction as the end was right around the corner...and all that jazz. I never missed a meeting, and I worked and supported myself throughout college. It was rough, but I didn't give up... I persevered. Lol

Homeschooled JW from 7th grade and up. Yep, I can sympathize with your experience, Chef

I never fit in either I lasted 4 years walked away in 1996. Ironically Prince has a song named slave it helped me open my 👀

I'm so glad i left this cult the day i left was the happiest day of my life

People think we "fight or flight" but women will tell you we freeze. I was tearful listening to Nelly my experience was so similar and I would sneak my grandad's whiskey at 14 to numb myself. Brilliant video, thank you Nelly and Lady Cee it DOES get better you CAN make it. Eventually - and it takes a long time - you can meet that special one or two people who fill that hole your family normally fills.

That was awesome having Chef Nelly your very own fam on the show. Happy for you both.

My elder brother said “when you move to a new area, you go to the KH and have instant friends” I’ve never known that, it was always hard to be friends, they were always either suspicious of you or they already had their click and they didn’t want you in their group

Awesome Interview Beautiful Ladies 💖

I knew it wasnt for me when i did my research on the founder. I grew up in it and felt like my family didn't fit in also. I have a relationship with God and learned that God loves me and everyone else despite our imperfections. They made me feel like i needed to be prefect to be loved, its impossible for any of us to be prefect because we're all sinners. Jesus died for us since we're imperfect and they seem to forget that or lie to act like they're perfect.

Can’t wait to watch Chef Nelly

This is organisation is damn bad, it is suppose to be illegal, I was molested by a matured brother when I was maybe 7 or 8, this young man, was taking us to a street work, selling magazines in the early 70s and I never knew how to deal with, until I threateb]ned to tell on him and that stopped. I did not know if I was suppose to tell my parents or how to. No child is safe in such a community. Touching story , thanks Chef for sharing and thank you to Critical Thinker for making such a wonderful platform.

ABOUT JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES:. Of all the Churches that are teaching things that are FALSE I’ve never heard of anyone whose FAMILIES are TORN APART for UNSCRIPTUAL reasons...Mothers can’t speak to daughters, Fathers can’t speak to Sons, etc…..I RESPECT everyone’s right to different believes, but when a Christian Organization teaches things that are NOT true about Christ...Saying that Jesus is not the MEDIATOR between God and humans, saying that Jesus Christ has already returned, that he returned In 1914...They tell people they have no Heavenly Hope if they are not a JW. An Organization telling people they are not to partake of the Emblems...To REJECT Jesus Ransom Sacrifice. Partaking is something Jesus instructed all TRUE FOLLOWERS of His to do. An Organization that is DESTROYING Lives with their constant Flip Flop teachings and peoples prospects for Salvation. This is an Organization that feels they are a SUBSTITUTE for Jesus Christ. They have taught people they were APPOINTED by Jesus Christ and they should TRUST the Governing Body like they TRUST Jesus Christ, then later on to ADMIT they ARE NOT INSPIRED by God. Let’s not Forget all of their FALSE PROPHECIES. This is nothing more than a MAN MADE Organization that ONLY teaches people THEIR INTERPRETATION of the Bible which is why they use BOOKS, MAGAZINES, BROCHURES and PAMPHLETS. This is to BRAINWASH and INDOCTRINATE their INTERPRETATION of things….Not the Holy Spirits. Jesus made it very clear at John 8:31-32 “So Jesus said to the Jews who believed in him, “If you continue to accept and obey MY teaching, you are REALLY my Followers. 32 You will know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH will SET you FREE.” People will be SET FREE from the UNSCRIPTURAL BURDENS placed upon them. Also, so many people feel TRAPPED in this Organization because it uses their Families and Friends as a WEAPON to KEEP people ENSNARED. Also, at Ephesians 5:11, it tells us to EXPOSE people of this Caliber. This is the reason I speak out on my Channel. I am not trying to DISRESPECT anyone’s religion, at the same time we are to Obey God as Ruler, rather than man, as noted at Acts 5:29….that includes Daughter or Son. Any group that encourage parents to let their children die, or let yourself die by NOT taking a life saving blood transfusion, or a group that is destroying families and marriages all over the world, a group that don’t properly protect children, along with having so many people committing suicide, they NEED TO LOCK these NUT JOBS up. They constantly violate HUMAN RIGHTS, so their rights should be VIOLATED. JW's do MORE HARM and DAMAGE than good. The Government NEEDS to continue to BAN and lock these HOMEWRECKERS up, and KEEP them LOCKED up for at least 12 years. This Organization is literally HURTING and DESTROYING people and something NEED to be done about them. Normally I would say the Government shouldn't get involved, but when you have EXTREMISTS like this Organization who are DESTROYING LIVES all over the world, the Government NEEDS to step in and take ACTION.

I had friends in the organization but I always felt like an outsider. I was raised an only child and we had to switch congregations because there was no one my age. But since we went to a congregation we weren't in the territory for I had a hard time hanging out because it would be a 20 min drive. So I always felt like an outsider because the friends would hang out without me because they lived closer to one another. And I wouldn't have a ride because both parents worked full time

Excellent 👌 video and also touching . Thanks for sharing blessings to each of you ladies . Nelly has been through a lot . Shocking information 😃.

As a "black" the kingdom hall never addressed my concerns. They would talk about other issues, such as the jewish converts issues. Jw's worldwide, but when it to came to the "black" man there were very little concerned.

Great interview. Compliments to the Chef. Lol

Great interview! Chef Nelly was so open about her life. Thank you both! ❤️

love interviews .😁👋👍keep it up

Wow great interview. I wish you the very best going forward in life Nelly

After 20 years out I still can not connect with "worldly" people. Can I connect with you two sisters, are "worldly" now? Great getting to know you Chef Nelly🦋🌈🙏🏻Chef Nelly you have beautiful voice to listen to and all the ways of expressing the English...thnx

That's awful her father didn't want to acknowledge his own daughter's unpleasant advances from adult men. It just goes to show how empty some JW must feel inside when they are instructed by the governing body not to take action when crimes are committed.

I have not watched this interview yet but I know this is going to be good Chef Nellie is a dynamic personality

There is no "Gods" Organization. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

This is a very interesting conversation I knew it would be! I Knew it would be good Thanks for sharing your story!

I really hope she does her own research I can tell she’s not fully awake a few bad experiences could make her run back to the cult

Everything with The Borg is a distraction. Drinking a glass of water can give you a strange look!

LadyCee woow..congrats you both

Thank you for sharing your story!! It’s so inspiring. I too, never fit in with any kids. Just now getting over the lack of socialization skills, haha! Cheers to you and your family!

Lady Cee...this is a wonderful video. So glad to see your young beautiful cousin coming into her life. Being a jw is not easy and I could not go to another church. They pretty much ruined me before I left. Reading my KJV Bible again, talking to God and Jesus and trying to follow Jesus are what make me content. Really enjoyed the video and words of encouragement from you. Take care.

kudos , to this young lady . now , my religious belief and practice , is the same as hers . BTW , i am not an exjw nor , have i ever been a jw .. i believe , organized religion is not the way to go . great share thank you , for sharing...........

Heart to heart

The reality is in both of your experiences, you were considered “spiritually weak” and thus you got judged. 🙄 It’s a shame. This is a great discussion and I’m about 30 min in. Thanks for having these conversations Lady Cee. I’m about to be 50 and I’ve made it crystal clear to my parents I’m done and don’t believe any of the doctrine. It’s interesting, growing up I made connections with my peers AT SCHOOL. Lol. Now, I experience what I call “intermittent shunning” from my sister. I live with my parents because of a previous illness and they would have looked really bad shunning me otherwise. Lol. It is just all so interesting. Excellent conversation!!! Love y’all. Strong women! 💪🏾🏆✨ *Edit: Oh! I never fit in either!! Forgot to say that part.

You still should dig deeper and see for yourself the JW doctrinal error... It's just total liberating...

What an amazing interview!! Thank you so much for what you and JT are doing. I don't usually comment, but I have to tell you, I am truly grateful for your content. This platform opened my eyes to the hypocrisy of the JW organization. And helped me to start critically thinking. Thank you so much. #finallyfree

I know exactly how you felt. I never knew my non witness family until I turn 16 then got to know them when I was 21. I saw the unity in the family and said what's wrong with my witness family . I knew the organization broke up families from seeing their close unity despite arguments and fights. They helped me find my way of life l wanted for myself. I finally embrace the yogi in me. I found who I am in my heart mind and spirit. It so much freedom when you find yourself entirely. My non witness is my support system to this day 40 years later. Even though I have my own belief system.

Chef Nelly, that hurts me a lot: 4 deaths...we live such a curbed life in the Watchtower KingDUMB...believing that is the only way of life: The Truth...So painful" is the 8GB learning? Of will they blame Satan for it? haha

Chef Nelly is your cousin?! Love seeing her again and learning that she is a former JW!

To be at peace you have to do your research to establish why this organisation is not the truth. There’s a sizeable portion who exit but still believe that it is God’s organisation. Chef Nelly had the emotional fortitude not to because as she said she had a support network but not everybody is as fortunate. As JT says do not become a poster child for the JWs. Make sure you have mental and emotional clarity when you leave! Collateral damage of some sort is guaranteed!

What a lovely thing ! ! Have vieuw of Robert King's video: "Give Us More Faith." Settles the mind, especially when one comes out and feels like a fish out of the water. . .

JW suicides are so sad. Especially in cases where a sheltered young person is disfellowshipped. The disfellowshipping, the blood issue and how organizational structure and organizational dogma outweighs precious human lives . These are among the reasons I pushed back from becoming an elder. Leadership says they are not spirit directed, not infallible and are still trying to figure it out. Yet everything they decide or come up with must be accepted as coming from God ! How could it be that all disfellowshipping on local levels is Jehovah’s discipline when the highest level of the organization admits to no being spirit directed or not infallible. If I were an elder and someone committed that I was involved in disfellowshipping I could not live with myself 😞

Hi Cousin Chef Nelly :-)

OMG, so sad I never had it where my family ignore me because I was the first generation. Praying that it ends with me. So happy that I realize they're unable to really be a friend only on condition. That is the best recommendation Raymond Franz because of the knowledge she actually don't know whether it is the Truth or not. Some people just leave without the knowledge to know a lot about the fallacy of this religion. That book cover the meat of this religion. I needed this info to really become liberated from this being a part of false religion. I been gone since 2013 everything have change, because when I came back the first time they had me to study again. At that time on my return they wasn't reference Jehovah or Jesus but the faithful slave. to much.

*I could rewatch this whole interview 10xs in a row! no way me and my sister would've been homeschooled as my mother dropped out in the 11th grade, so she was perfect for the jw soft con job. I didn't read Ray Franz's book either but from its title, cognitive dissonance, to me, is where inside of 1 person, there can be two opposing viewpoints, which forced us to become Emmy award winning actors/actresses*

The cult is definitely dying slowly but surely

Very good interview

The thumbs down is troll.

Loved it! Is your sis up for an interview?

Awesome interview with Chef Nelly! 💐 Please everyone don't waste your life in this mess!! You will lose not only your gifts and talents, but also it's a possibility you could lose your life!! The hypocrisy is STRONG in this CULT!!

thank you so much

I appreciate this channel for wut it represents n it’s to me a stepping stone that helps ppl who just got out of that cult but I would love to build wit u n JT because I feel YALL a much deeper n layered as far as y’all view on religion period how can I reach out?

I went to a vocational school for culinary. I didn't do anything with it unfortunately eventhough I graduated top I'm my class. My life took a different course. Not a very good one either.

The cult is coming down slowly but surely

Hello JT & Lady C, first off... thank you, thank you, thank you. Your tireless work has helped thousands. I wanted to ask if you guys can do a video on the “anointed” ones and what to make of that phenomenon. If you interview an “anointed” exjw that would be golden. Please consider that idea and keep up the excellent work!!!

I can relate to all of this, I saw so much abuse, manipulation and controlling men, it isn't funny. In HS, I had an acquaintance that was 17, and she was getting married right out of HS, because her father made her. My dad converted when I was born, and it ruined my parents marriage, mom was so angry and bitter all she did was fight with my dad. Going to school, I was always ashamed of that religion, I wasn't allowed to go to girl scouts, stand up at my brother's wedding, sports, etc. When I turned 18 I moved out. It was horrible growing up,

I know how you feel ,I'm old and I am nothing ,it doesn't matter how much you can do,its not enough.

Her issues were my same issues. I hated it and never returned after being Publicly Reproved in 2014.

I still don't fit in, but do I need other imperfect human beings for my life to be whole? NO. I have built my personal relationship with JEHOVAH.. I became more of GODLY person than a religious one.. I cherish my relationship with JEHOVAH and I count my blessings every day.. Human can't bless other human beings, human can't protect other human beings against calamities or tragedies.. Why would I need their approval?

OMG i can relate to the older men doing things! So uncomfortable and not knowing how to handle. So much of that goes on it’s a disgrace. And they have good reputations in the congregation. So glad to be free….😊

4:18 it's the first time I hear someone saying that ("there is a religious life and regular life)" it's a real thinking starting point because that's where the discrepancies come in when one is lead to confuses religion with spirituality. A big part of being spiritual is being open-minded because it's about analyzing to gain awareness/consciousness = discernment, and you can't analyze anything for real with boundaries (let alone religious once, they are prejudices to the process).

I home schooled my step son ,and Ive known many witnessess who homeschooled ....All were abject failures ....To them it is a punishment ...more isolation compounded !......I'm so sorry 😐

Know the feeling very well I just never felt that I belonged or fitted in I moved to so many different congregations in the hope that it was just the last one that had the issue nope still the same cold, unloving atmosphere.

It's sad that some congregations aren't as good as most congregations. That was also sad when the Israelites wanted to go back to Egypt when they were in the wilderness, especially after Jehovah had parted the red sea for them and took them out of slavery !

You guys r so funny and smart

I grew up in nebraska around offut AB my parents were both airforce and Alotta worldly kids were military. The base was the kick it spot. We had Olympic diving boards basketball courts ETC so going ON base was like getting into the club. My friends used to accuse my mom of being “CIA”. My spiritual brother recognized my potent discipline on sight when I moved to Cali. He’s from a navy family in Virginia. He served, I didn’t. It’s interesting GB talks so tough but many of them never got in a fight. If you look up Mexican vs black riots. We beat brakes and rotors off mexicans in middle school & highschool. We were raised by warriors. Some people got stabbed we stay on the scene and we was so military trained I put my knee on the oops wound and convince him to relax while my spiritual brother go call the ambulance and bring some salt and papertowels and duct tape. The ese patna thanked us for saving his life. He switched sides. Everybody ran. Unfortunately he got gunned down over something thing different.

Her mom's the real MVP. Would've killed for that level of guidance as an adolescent.

..We had a belief system that put us in a bubble with simple answers to life's problems. I. . would never guessed at the level of child abuse. Studied and became a JW. Now we have reached a new level of truth which is freeing. But now I am still concerned about climate change. Also interested in politics but the quagmire or the swamp is huge as I examine the nuances of the political arena. Trump practically deified by many with undying loyalty, corporate greed and big money shaping our lives and having more influence than they should. Qanon is crazy as is neo- Nazism and white supremacy. I am sure there are many great people who are conscientious. I guess finding our little niche and crawling into is all there is left to do. I appreciate that Chef Nelly still prays. I pray and also to the universe. I do not feel the bible is necessarily inspired by God. Listen to scholars and archeologists. I OK simply saying I do not know all the answers. Thank you for all you do

As Born-in JW (Disassociate/ Apostate/ XJW/Pomo) they were sisters from another KH that we didn't get along well...it made me think of living with them in the New Order and wondered if we didn't Co-Exist now... How on Earth are we going to do it then !?!...😲🤨🤔

Hello, I'm sorry, and mean no harm, but your cousin can still file a lawsuit against Watchtower Track Society, because they was Elders, and the criminal sexual abuse took place at the Kingdom Hall, and field service. Do not let them get away with this.

I was told I was not the right fit because of my education.

The elders are the biggest criminals who hide child sex abuse and child rape. I'm curious if her father has had any accusations against him from other little girls. That may have been part of the reason those older men who knew her father thought they had some permission to feel up a CHILD, a little girl, that it was okay to sexually assault her, which is what they did. I also think she knows it and that is why she shoves it down and doesn't want to look at it. Bless her heart. It is going to hit her someday no matter how she tries to run from it. She seems like a wonderful young woman and I wish her the best.

Great interview. I think Cuz Chef Nelly should try atheism. 😉

I too have no interest in organised religion, I don't trust religious leaders now.

Ive always thought fear and awe were interchanged in Bible.

Salt in the wound my seem torturous but I’ve had to do this to multiple people. One doctor praised me because my lady friend got hurt cause she slip in and fell. For some reason a woman’s shriek doesn’t bother me. I pinned her down. I poured salt and peroxide in her wound. She got sliced in the ear to the cheek bone. I had to to pin her down untill the ambulance came so she wouldn’t grab her face. The doctor said “that was the cleanist cut I ever seen.” Unfortunately, the woman who did that to her is no longer with us but she earned the name Scarface. A sense of calm comes over me during chaos. I know god is real but it’s not Jehovah. It’s not Jesus. Names aren’t important. It’s grace. Like birth.

I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that didn’t fit that cult

Well .... i'm probably (maybe yes maybe not ) the only one who wont get a red heart here but.... mooooove on with your lives people and don't dwell to much about them because that is EXACTLY what they want you to do , if you talk about them for the rest of your life then ... they still own you in some way , their ghost is still out there to get you , move on forget it . And if you are so in need of a religion there are a good plenty of other denominations you can join . I understand you may want to share your experience about it for others to know, and that's fine no harm but then things move on .

You right it changed it's so different my own mother and father would of been like what. Especially my Father he would of seen the real proof of what he seen and heard being an Elder,disfellowship, reinstated mistreated, controlled. He know before he died what they were. Now I know what he known but with proof from the youtuber. But what's so sad my sister and brothers from the same mother and father can't see it.

It's interesting how we grew up on the term "Worldly People". I remember explaining to someone this was basically the JW version of the N word. Now it's Non Witness.

How can anyone with a living spirit fit in there? All that empty formalism and fear!

No two congregations are alike.

I Am Angry for what happened to Mrs. Nelly at the hands of the JW Elders when she was a child

Tetragrammaton is Egyptian meaning FOUR LETTERS of aton atum adam electron and the SUN or jehovah is the SUN in metaphysics and freemasons use it.

DOOMSDAY DECEPTION - The Rise & Fall of the Watchtower Society (published by Argyle Books, Amazon July, 2021) tells all, and more. Read it and stay happy, hopeful and optimistic.

YOU didnt FIT in? I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY DIDNT FIT IN WITH ME! HA! If I had to do #1 talk I'd MOONWALK to podium. He hee, Go girl! Ooooooo!👆

PIMO = living under „OMERTA“.

You're Father should have protected you. I'm disheartening you gone through that. 😡😢😢😢

Chef Nelly Can you come to "the Lou" , home of another Nelly and cook for me? 😉😘 DANNNNNG

verified or corroberated unfalsifiable falsifiable ~~~~ Function of Story to create cultural memory Readers expected to enter into willing suspension of disbelief

It's a cult.

Chat too long thou.