Theo Von - Threesomes and Baltic Babies 

This should be a radio station on GTA.

“Oh yeah, that’s female lesbianism...onward” -Theo Von

“My father told me I have the heart of a lesbian” “we always try to live up to what our fathers think of us” I fucking lost it

“An Ohio eight is a Indiana nine” 🐐

His father telling him he has the heart ♥ of a lesbian 😂 😂 😂

"I can't even imagine being in that situation". **just explained vividly, in detail the whole situation**

Theo knows exactly what he's talking about.

“You don’t wanna show up at the ballpark wearing sandals” 😂

Some say Theo is the wordsmith of his generation

It doesn’t even matter what Theo is talking about. I’m always dead☠️😂🤣

theo truly has never changed. with most other comedians you can tell if you are listening to their old stuff, but if this was released tomorrow, no-one would bat an eye

Theo’s brain flows like the best rap freestylers out there! 🧠 . So much creativity in the noggin’

“A fake pecker tied to her ribcage...” This is why we love you Theo. No idea what that means, but love it.

That bass trap is trying to swipe your wife.

"Arbuckling that clam." 😂😂😂😂😂

"my father told me i had the heart of a lesbian as a child, and i always try to live up to tht" hahahaha Jesus Christ

This is a man who speaks from very precise experience.

the fact that he said 5 2's instead of 2 5's is hilarious

The fast sloth riding his back killed me 😂😂

you are the funniest man alive right now fam. Keep hustling

" I HAVE THE HEART OF A LESBIAN " So hilarious 😂😂 😂 .

Love Theo's monopoly references for women..."Baltic" and "Marven Gardens". Plus in real life, Baltic Ave is really a shitty street in Atlantic City, while Marven Gardens is an actual upscale neighborhood in nearby shore town. Gang Gang for knowing Jersey, Theo

How can someone make no sense yet I totally get what hes saying, I feel crazy 🤣

I am bedazzled by your verbage. Trystissippi. LOL thumbs up Mr von!!

its a bass trap alright and this dudes wife is the bass.

Out there Huck Finnin’ and Black Jimin’

Theo speaks straight church

Gender neutral style baby word up lmao

He didn't even let the dude finish the call lol

"you ever seen those old weight lifting videos from like, the 1700s, or whatever" ... dawg

Hahahahaha yooo I fucking Love Theos personality. 😂😂😂 “She’s over there taking batting practice...and you’re over there still in the batters box.” Hoooolllly shit I’m dying.

“When the music stops everybody get in a chair…” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Watching Theo makes me happy🧡🧡 keep being you brother!

“You need someone like a referee or a wedding planner” just snuck in the end there lol

It’s been three years we need a follow up

I wonder what happened. Pretty sure they recruited his wife. Best case scenario they wanted a kid and just needed a donor

Haha you create comedy as you are talking.. you got skillz boy! “Heart of a lesbian” wrote me off!

Every saying Theo says is hilarious.

Man Theo always make me feel like my own vocabulary is completely outdated and needs extention 😄. Gang gang

"Doggystyle leg locks" -Theo Von

"She was on my back like a fast sloth or a fast Russian backpack" LMFAO I love you Theo Von

"She was doin stunts around us after riding me like a backpack"😂😂😂😂

She was like a fast sloth 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Solid advice Theo.

they gonna take your girl

5:54 “She’s straight up arbuckling that clam…” 😂😂😂

Greatest Dialect this world has yet seen.

“Fake pecker” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

fast russian backpack

Theos hypotheticals scare the crap outta me in this one, good lord

OH MY GOD! HIlarious! I love Theo!

Those old weightlifting videos from the 1700s LOLs.

“You know what they say an Ohio 8 is a Indiana 9 baby”🤣🤣🤣

I love you. My favorite comedian. So fucking funny.

Theo Von for President.

"Bass Trap" 😂😁 Love Theo!! 🔥🧡😅

There is no advice. No advice better than this.

"If you saw her at a bus stop and it wasn't your stop, you might get off the bus...as long as it wasn't raining you might do that." 😂😂

“Solid 8s…Ohio 8s” Lol

5 2s make a ten 😂

"Ohio 8s" damn 😅

😝😛😅😂🤣 Theo I love you for making me laugh so hard😘

Yoooo is there a FOLLOW UP Video to this??? 🤔🤔🤣🤣🤣

"Bulgarian swagger" :-)

You are funny as fawk.

This is hysterical. Really machine gun funny

My boy said "onward"

My father told me I had the heart of a lesbian as a child.

Oh man, booty LSD that the lord dropped on your spine. Theo is a stone cold genius.

Is that Michael Landon on his T shirt? Lmao

this makes sense

"Huck Finnin and Black Jimmin" is a fucking masterpiece

Theo did you just say "videos from the 1700's" ??... lol c'mon bruh

snackin' on orange slices lol

Bootie lsd..... best clip ever. I'm done!!!!

A Kentucky 8 is a Tennessee cousin

He said you need a referee if you wanna have a successful 3some lol

"Instagrams."

Running on natural battery power hahahhaa

GTA 6 radio featuring Theo "ya know" Von

"sounds more like a Japanese gameshow" 😂

That Baltic Badgirl sounds like my type of woman. Gang shit brah

5 2’s make a 10 🤣🤣🤣

Theos fucking awesome!

Genius

this dude from buck eye state talking Theo verbage, got it down. my 4 old niece lives in Chicago when she came here for turkey, she thought we spoke different language here in Tennessee

Great advice if he is single. Terrible advice if he wants to stay married unless they are swingers or in an open marriage.

She came out the bathroom with a corked bat.

Theo how do we as men follow through on Tinder? I get plenty of matches but the messaging is painful.

funniest stuff I ever heard.

Theo von, making me laugh since I turn the fucking video on.

Dang it I thought this was the update from the Monday guy

A fast sloth

If people can't answer their own questions in these matters then the obvious answer is NO GO.

Just say no! That mental game they put on, you will never survive unless thats all u train for..

Ohio 8 is an Indiana 9… cmon how is he so quick

Thats female lesbianism. Onward. 😂

She had that Bulgarian in her LMAOLMAO

I gots da 'heart o a lez'....dude u so dam funz

If I had PAR-TOOKING🤨