What a narcissist does once he realizes he IS a narcissist

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Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. And here I discuss my own personal experience living with narcissistic personality disorder. Including the symptoms and behaviors associated with this disorder, as well as how it has affected my life. I also share some of my coping strategies and how I have been able to manage the disorder, along with helping you understanding your loved ones and their behaviors that may seem almost incomprehensible and potentially hurtful. Hopefully, my channel will provide insight into what it's like to live with narcissistic personality disorder, as well as what it's like for your loved ones. Thank you for watching!
If you wanna keep updated on Pathological narcissism and NPD, check out my other social media.
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#narcissist #clusterB #gaslighting #npd #mentalhealth #BPD #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #gaslighting #mentalhealthawareness

Опубликовано:

16 авг 2023

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Комментарии : 318

@GrgAProduction 9 месяцев назад

100%. Narcissist are very self aware of what they are doing is very wrong. HOWEVER they rather die on the hill alone than admit that they did you wrong 😂

@kaiser964 9 месяцев назад

It’s actually because I don’t believe I’m truly wrong. As I see it, my actions are justified and it is the other person’s fault. It also sometimes comes from a place of deep insecurity for why I can’t admit I’m wrong. It’s never out of malice like so many people think. We’re people too and we are capable of learning and growing as well

@GrgAProduction 8 месяцев назад

⁠⁠@@kaiser964An action is still wrong even if it’s ‘not out of malice’. But everything for you is automatically rationalised. So you think you are never wrong and never did anything out of malice. But even if I drive over somebody with my car unintentionally, it is still wrong. Just like even if I accidentally drive over somebody when I have been drinking unintentionally because he didn’t have reflexes on his jacket is still wrong 😂 but you can still justify any of those actions anyways.

@GrgAProduction 8 месяцев назад

@@kaiser964the thing most of you miss out on is aftually that for healthy people. Somebody taking accountability for their actions instead of constantly rationalising it. Shows the level of maturity. It shows that somebody won’t do that mistake again. It shows that they do care about not doing it again. If you constantly have rationalisations for everything. Then you lack the ability to owe up to the problem and it tells people that next time you will do it again even if it bothers them. Imagine something bothered you, then the person you care about keeps on repeating that ‘mistake’ over and over again and always have some excuse for it. How would that make you feel?

@subrata37759 7 месяцев назад

Agree I'm a narcissist

@averagejane09 4 месяца назад

@@kaiser964 Yeah, that is tricky. I had a brief conversation with a self aware narcissist once and she seemed to get that she had black and white thinking, which seems to be at the root of a lot of the inability to see things. She said that when her feelings are hurt, everything the other person does seems malignant to her. Where, for me, intention is everything. So, there we pull in the shades of grey in between. If someone intends harm then it is malignant. If it is not intentional, then to me this is a misunderstanding to be cleared up. But when triggered, it seems a person with NPD can't discern this stuff and go straight into attack mode, or the offensive, vs a healthy defence mode where you might raise valid counterpoints on the subject, rather than attacking the critic.

@tatummoffett6886 Месяц назад

Not diagnosed, but I believe that I am a covert narcissist. At first. I felt denial but after watching creators that actually talk about it, it opened my eyes to the behavior I also exhibit. I'm hoping that being open to therapy will be a good step forward, to be become a better person to those around me. Having more awareness feels good so far. 🙏

@chocoboasylum 10 месяцев назад

I respect people who become aware of their issues and try to work on them. The unaware narcs I feel sorry for because I know it's a very deep insecurity at it's root, but that doesn't stop me from holding them responsible for the ruin they leave in their wake

@kellywilliams3530 10 месяцев назад

I agree. Wjhile some narcissists may not like the large-scale interest in narcissism in recent time, it finally illuminates a community of victims that have suffered too long in the dark. There are some narcissists lower on the spectrum who are healing and growing, who do understand what the problem is and are trying to fix it and I think that's amazing andmore power to them. They're doing what so many others in their situation cannot: they've realized that they are not helpless, and that is just outstanding. Clearly if they are no longer engaging in narcissistic abuse then the information being provided to narcissistic abuse victims does not apply to them. But for those who do not recognize the problem, is it fair to their loved ones to continually be abused and attacked because someone is in pain and does not know how to control themselves, or because someone reads into words or gestures something that isn't there? No, it is not. To suggest otherwise is unethical and unreasonable. They are still going to be abusive until they choose not to be. Just because someone gives themselves permission to behave that way and believe they are justified and have the right to treat others this wa because their feelings, needs, wants and whims are more important still does not give them to right to abuse others. Sugar coating the situation does not help anyone, and most importantly, regarding every type of narcissist, there is no way not to upset a narcissist because the narcissist is already upset. Therefore, there is no point in pussy-footing around. It is manipulation, plain and simple. It is abuse, period. To call it anything else is to put the narcissists comfort over that of the victim's very real pain. This is not fair, nor is it right. If being called out for their behavior is so uncomfortable for narcissists, perhaps they shouldn't behave that way. If someone is abusing their family, it doesn't matter what disorder they have or how much of a victim they claim to be. The recommendation will always be for the family to get out of that situation. If people don't want their family or loved ones to leave them, they should stop abusing their family.

@ramsinghvishnoi 8 месяцев назад

Its not a issue , its a gift to us All of you are just punching bags for us

@chocoboasylum 8 месяцев назад

@@ramsinghvishnoi alright, edgelord

@1980kasb 7 месяцев назад

I wish there was a LOVE button

@Poppy-yx8js 4 месяца назад

And we see you as pathetic. Especially those of us who have education about narcissism. Your manipulation doesn’t work. We can see you are trying to deal with psychological problems by interjecting nonsense.

@journeyspencer7308 10 месяцев назад

I think the evil isn't in being a narcissist, but in the abuse of others. I'm not referring to you, as I don't know you. However, my father was absolutely evil, because he beat us girls, sexually assaulted me, and was generally cruel. He wasn't evil because he had narcissism. He was evil because he harmed others, and got joy from causing pain.

@amandasunshine2 10 месяцев назад

Not all pdf files touch children. Some learn to live with it. My mom is narcissistic and I'm currently NC with her. I still have a lot of trauma from her. I've really struggled to reconcile the good things and the trauma, who she really is and does she really love me, is she capable of love. Thank you for saying this. Idky, but it helped it click for me. It's her. She chose to act that way. To treat me the way she did.

@journeyspencer7308 10 месяцев назад

@@amandasunshine2 I'm glad it's helped you. Very glad! My father was horrifically abused as a child. I feel empathy for the child he once was, but do not fool myself that he couldn't help what he became. If you ever doubt it was a controllable choice, there's only one question you need to ask yourself. Did the narcissist act exactly the same in front of police, or others in authority? My father poured on the charm when police were around. He changed completely until they were out of sight. That shows his ability to control his behavior. It shows its a choice he made to be abusive. At some point in his life, my father made the decision to sink to the lowest form of human instead of fighting the urges and become better than his upbringing, like I did. He knew what it felt like to be beaten, so he should've decided never to do that to others. But he didn't. He became that which harmed him. But it was a choice. He could control it, depending on who would see him act out. In my case, both parents were narcissists. Mom is a covert narcissist. She never beat us girls. She simply failed to protect us. She refused to divorce him because that would be admitting she made a mistake in marrying him. Mom never admits mistakes, or apologizes, ever. She cannot be wrong. My parents raised my sister and I in a high mind control cult, and she'll never leave the cult, because she cannot consider the possibility that she made a bad decision to join it. So she shuns my sister and I for leaving the cult. We're not welcome in her home, not allowed to call, or text or email. It's been nearly 20 years since I've seen her. But that turned out to be a blessing. It hurt at first, because 20 years ago, I didn't know what she was. Now it all makes a whole lot of sense. Today, I have peace because I'm NC. Dad died a few years ago and I didn't attend his funeral. I'm good with that. I probably won't go to mom's funeral either when she passes. I've had a lot of therapy to get to this point where I know who I am and I like myself. I understand I am enough and always was. They were the ones who felt empty and projected that on to me. But I reject that. I don't need their opinions or their approval. I said all this in hopes it resonates with you and for you to know that it does get better. Learn all you can about narcissism. It helps make the abuse make sense. And... It's OK to love the narcissist in your life. Just have extremely solid boundaries and never back down on those boundaries. But loving someone is never wrong. Sometimes you just have to love at a distance. May God bless you!

@amandasunshine2 10 месяцев назад

@@journeyspencer7308 she was weird.. cuz like.. she was never outright cruel. It was always passive aggressive "are you sure you should be doing that". She didn't have to say the words "you're ugly and fat" because she could say them with a look, you know? I once described how she would be able to insult me in front of other people to my therapist with a hypothetical story about a party. Let's say we go to a party, but as we're getting ready, I accidentally spill something on her favorite outfit, the one she was planning on wearing to the party. She insists it's okay, all while giving side glances that let me know it's actually not. She changes into something else and we go to the party. At the party, someone will compliment her outfit, she'll say "oh thank you! Yeah I was planning on wearing something else, but it got something on it" and give me a glance that let's me know she wants me to feel guilty. She never hit me, but she'd write extensive letters about how much harder I was making her life. Have you ever heard of writing out your feelings? Well, it was under that guise, but it was always about how difficult I was rather than her feelings. I went through life thinking I was a "problem child", only for friends in my 20s to ask what I did, and when I said "sometimes I didn't do my homework or clean my room" and they'd reply "so.. normal kid stuff? You didn't sneak out or do drugs?" it made me realize that maybe I'd been sold a lie. She wouldn't change how you describe, it was far more subtle, but yeah, this sickly sweet she'd show everyone else and the irritated condescension she showed me.. I'm not sure she's a narcissist tbh. She would always make things look right on paper.. like those notes couldn't possibly be abuse, my therapist _told_ her to write letters to me when she's angry. She's also a psychiatrist herself, and you know what they say about going to therapy with your abuser. She knew exactly how to make it "look right", you know? For example, there's an instance where she may have been trying to kill me. Or she could've just accidentally messed up the medication. But she's also a doctor, and looking back at that night.. there were some other things that didn't add up, like the reason for administering the medication, someone told someone that I was thinking about offing myself and we were trying to figure out who said that and where they got that idea. That lie spun my whole life out of control (another story) in a way that gave my mom a lot of control over my life. Tbh I don't think she messed up the medication and I think she engineered the whole thing to get custody of me. It led to her putting me into a program with doctors that will lie about your condition to give your parents custody of you. Have you heard of "incapacitated adult"? It refers to adults who are so disabled, they can't dress themselves. They are usually wheelchair bound. Yet she was able to get me declared that and they even ignored me about having a trial and being examined by a third party appointed by the court, which is illegal. She gave me her DSM with bipolar open to it and asked me if any of these conditions sounded accurate. Then she came with me into the psych's appointment (she destroyed my confidence so I'd feel like I needed her with me) and helped me convince him I have bipolar. Thr first psychiatrist I talked to who had never spoken to my mom was like "yeah you don't have bipolar and I'm not sure why anyone would think you did". I've heard that from 3 different psychiatrists now. After getting off the medication she made me be on (with some flimsy excuses, I might add) it felt like I woke up from a decade long coma. Have you heard of munchausens by proxy? I think that was part of whatever was going on with her.

@amandasunshine2 10 месяцев назад

@@journeyspencer7308 I knew she was capable of protecting me, cuz when I was assaulted and the cop blamed me, she made the whole police department take sensitivity training. With a single phone call. The issue with my mom is I know she'd never admit mistakes, but she's also highly intelligent, competent, and effective, so it's hard to tell what even was a mistake and what was a carefully calculated move. Another example, the program she put me in. There are lots of studies that prove they are more harmful than good. She's the kind of person to have looked up those studies before she sent me to something. So.. did she? Or was this huge decision in her daughter's life the _one_ time she forgot to do her due diligence? Personally, I have a theory. I read about a Russian psychologist who wanted to know if intelligence was innate or if you could create a genius. He raised 3 chess champions. Reading his methodology, it really resonated.. and made me think my mom was using similar techniques to try and make me have BPD. I was adopted and was able to talk to my biodad. Unfortunately my biomom had passed a few years prior, but something he told me really struck something in me. He said he'd had a conversation with my biomom about how they were concerned my mom wanted a baby for experiments rather than to raise a child. They figured once she had a real infant in her arms, maternal instinct would kick in. I mean she was already pretty far along by that point, and she had only gotten pregnant for my mom (traditional surrogate), she really didn't want kids, so what other option did they have than to hope? And I was like "well I'm sorry to tell you, it was experiments". I can't watch Umbrella Academy cuz it's too much like how I was raised.

@journeyspencer7308 10 месяцев назад

@@amandasunshine2 Oh my! In many respects, you described my mother. Study "covert narcissism". Your mother is dangerous. I hope you are "no contact" with her. It's the only safe relationship you can have with her. She was a monster. I'm so sorry! You deserve dignity, respect and honor. Let me tell you what she should have: You are ENOUGH and you always have been! She projected her emptiness, her brokenness on to you. But it doesn't belong to you. Put it back on her doorstep. You are worthy of dignity, honor and respect. Give those things to yourself and expect it of others. You are lovable. You are capable and strong. You are valuable, special and unique in all the world. You cannot be replaced. You're needed by those who truly care about you. You have purpose. You are beautiful and wonderful. Those are truthful words. Hold those words close to your heart. Her words were her truth, not yours. My heart goes out to you. You deserved so much better than you got. Hugs my sweet friend!

@Palaecro 10 месяцев назад

Any narcissist I've ever called out will just deny and accuse me of being the narcissist. It's so futile, no contact has been the only thing that works. Unfortunately I still have to work closely with one.

@Owyourhurtingme 9 месяцев назад

Calling out a narcissist is futile. It’s like yelling at a bear for eating a moose calf.

@kevintaylor4590 8 месяцев назад

Don’t call them out like that. Talk in metaphors. That’s what we do. We try to get behind the mirror. I should point out that my type are stupendously dangerous people if wound up the wrong way.

@lucasrinaldi9909 8 месяцев назад

Well, I don't think it's a good idea (nor fair) to go around calling others narcissists. We are not professionals in the field, we cannot make diagnoses. The good old a22hole works really well on these occasions.

@LindaNorstedtENG 7 месяцев назад

That’s what I call a very insecure individual. Narcissist or not it’s never okey to be an a-hole. :/

@LindaNorstedtENG 7 месяцев назад

@@lucasrinaldi9909 I couldn’t agree more. I know I’ve done some bad things but not actually abuse and I have bpd with highly narcissistic traits. I am a narcissist and I have to deal with that. But as you said that doesn’t make me automatically a bad person. Look at Jacob for example. I can se the goodness in his eyes. We are just individuals walking around either beeing mean as F or trying to work on our self. ☺️

@AdrianHanessian-ls1og 11 месяцев назад

Hey Jacob. I just want to say that I'm extremely proud if you for starting this Channel. You and SpiritNarc have helped me come to terms with myself and feel less alone. Thanks.

@andersandersson2570 10 месяцев назад

You really have to be a fucking retard to buy anything this shithead says

@RatedArggg 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for posting this. Just keep in mind that a lot of us have been abused by narcissists our whole lives, and have been told to "respect" their feelings and tiptoe around them when they're in a bad mood. We've been told that they're more important than we are. Now that we're finding ou the reason for this, we're MAD. I know not all narcissists are evil, but we're still venting and will be for a long time.

@Rayvn7 10 месяцев назад

All narcissists are abusive. When responding to a narcissist who is at a beginning of therapy or realization, you can respond with logic just like you should when you are in a victim group too. If you cannot do that and you are on RU-vid then you should go to the channel of the black man with the long braids because he does not say anything with narcissistic condescenion at all on his videos, he is married which means that his wife is okay with his progress, and his videos are all for the purpose of helping the victim. He agrees that narcissists are totally bad due to NPD in other words. Except or until if they change themselves.

@AlastorTheNPDemon 11 месяцев назад

I got drawn in by "the vulnerable narcissist" because it sounded like a sympathetic term that tugged on my heart strings a tiny bit... and then the construct was described, I'm like "Oh shit... that's me," and I went on a Vaknin binge. LoL

@CYellowan 11 месяцев назад

I find that his theories seem to be accurate, but to be honest? Some of the core-things he is describing, are things ordinary people also do. I work with people every day and i can tell you for sure that there's around 10 to 15% of the "special things" he outline, which are common in ordinary people. It's just completely 100% automatic in ordinary human minds. But the rest of his stuff seem decent. A bit too nerdy, but informative. If you can get to a mental place where you have learned and accepted yourself so deeply, you know how you react, then i am sure you are on the right path to healing overall. Speaking from my own experience with extreme mental work, and being the victim of a narc relationship of 5 years ❌️😂 Learn and adapt every day, and it'll keep getting better for sure! Life is long anyways, work hard and often and yoy'll be in better shape as the days go by 👏

@Aromatic.Bleach 11 месяцев назад

That guy is total trash. Something is very wrong with him and it's not "just" NPD.

@Rayvn7 10 месяцев назад

Sam Vankin is not okay. He and Todd Grande are obvious overt narcissists and they say a lot of condescending things and a lot of wrong things, and Todd even literally quotes the DSM - overt narcissistic psychiatrists, one of the worst groups.

@stealthwarrior5768 7 месяцев назад

@@Rayvn7I.k.r? I blocked both their channels. There are a few more out there.

@stephenbrown7424 4 месяца назад

Affirmative ?

@timorthelame1 10 месяцев назад

Just yesterday, I confronted my father about his constant mistreatment of me. He responded by telling me that I have anger issues. I told him he has some narcissistic issues and that he directs them at me. His response was to tell me that he was blocking me and to suggest that I change my name. That was the only time ever that I ever mentioned narcissism to him and a minute later, he decided to discard me. As a result, I'm very hurt by it but I also feel a very real sense of relief that I've never enjoyed until now.

@steelcarnations2207 10 месяцев назад

Thank you for this. I have been abused at the hands of my narc parent my whole life, and I can't find any actual support group where I fit in, because I WILL NOT BERATE my narcissistic mother. I am an empath, so of course I was the scapegoat but bc I'm an empath I CAN ACTUALLY FEEL her pain, and I completely utterly GRIEVE for her inability to feel. It grieves me to know she's a "dead-man-walking." I hurt for her. But the bottom line is...if I berate and trash and hate on another living person, I have now become the very thing I despise. And I don't, and WON'T, despise my mother. I have to love her for who she is, and in knowing who she is, I can now fully protect myself and not let her hurt me. There IS a way to have a relationship with a narcissist, but it CANNOT ever be a deep emotional one. SOOOO she and I go out and have a blast, hit the malls, shop till we drop, and then I know I have to go home or the negative crap will start. Basically...when you're with a narcissist, "always know when to leave the party." Thank you for dispelling myths. Bc as a survivor, those myths are NOT HELPING US EITHER!!! I will not join a group or read help articles where I'm being trained to hate my narc. Nope, can't do it.

@timorthelame1 10 месяцев назад

It's not necessarily about hating the narc. Some people have much more toxic dynamics with their narc parents than you might. Those trips to the mall that you are able to enjoy with your mother are far beyond the realm of possibility for others who might be dealing with someone who is constantly toxic at all times. Until you've dealt with their parents for decades, perhaps you should withhold judgment of others that you view as "hating" their abusers. Either way, I'm glad that you have something that you are able to salvage with your mother. I'm a little envious but still I wish you the best. Peace!

@nostalgia831 2 месяца назад

@@The_New_Abnormal_World_Orderall people with cluster B personality disorders are emotional people regardless of what emotions it is they feel them very intensely. They definitely can feel but some things might be numb or impaired for them.

@ofplainreason 10 месяцев назад

Abuse does not require malice. Most people who abuse people aren't doing it because it gives them joy giving you pain. That's a misconception that's been perpetuated by the media. I highly recommend reading more on the psychology of abuse. Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissists often aren't aware of their own actions being defined as abuse, especially if they experienced those same things in their childhood, for them that is normal. Only Narcissists with ASPD have malice. I grew up all 3 types of narcissist ( my father is the only one with an official NPD diagnosis, but my Brother has an ASPD diagnosis. )

@user-ds5uj6mj9n 3 дня назад

Only the malignant narc delights in giving us pain cause there sadistic

@creadorcontenido6970 11 месяцев назад

I don't feel shame for being psychotic, i feel pain for hurting people I love.

@bigronnie9629 10 месяцев назад

Then that doesn't sound like NPD.Sounds like Histrionic Personalty Disorder

@creadorcontenido6970 10 месяцев назад

he's saying that all personaly disorders feel shame. i was just being ironic@@bigronnie9629

@VeroNika-gc7mb 10 месяцев назад

Also there is a theory that narcissist start devaluation/discard out of the blue, slowly when the illusion breaks. But in my case it was not like that - I started to get proficient in understanding emotional abuse and narcissism, used right language naming things as they are and all these were injuring him, breaking his fragile facade, showing the painful reality he was always running from. I stopped providing him with admiration and positive supply. I think if I could keep serving him, pet his ego and stay shut about my unmet emotional needs - he would be happy. Confused with this theory. I would appreciate your input about this very much!

@aprilchow-chee5281 10 месяцев назад

I agree

@timorthelame1 10 месяцев назад

Ditto.

@Bookooky 10 месяцев назад

They don't feel happy even with the world in their hands. Due to shame, anger, and volatility from being unauthentic, they will doubt your supply and need constant affirmation.

@VeroNika-gc7mb 10 месяцев назад

@@Bookooky thats a good point, never thought in that direction of them doubting the positive supply and looking for constant affirmation.

@VeroNika-gc7mb 9 месяцев назад

@@henryhandel wery well put together, so resonating with my observations and thoughts! Thank you for sharing!

@ElizaFragmented 11 месяцев назад

I resonate a lot. People make your diagnosis about them, and if you’re not malignant or abusive the denial is stronger.

@stefanielisa4062 6 месяцев назад

The internet and people are so mean about narcissists. It’s fucking ridiculous

@ElMundoDeSam95 11 месяцев назад

Once you become aware you start to answer questions about your life

@bengoldberg6198 5 месяцев назад

I give you credit. I'm not saying this to boost your ego. You're a human being and you deserve compassion just like everyone else. I'm sorry you have NPD.

@polyphonic_peanut 9 месяцев назад

I've been through all these phases when I learnt about NPD, starting with denial, then the shame spiral, followed by grandiosity from being a narcissist. Yay!!! Woop! Woop! I s'pose there could be a fourth way, which would be a kind of self-acceptance that isn't grandiose, but is more about being mindful of our thoughts and behaviours and managing them so we can best take care of ourselves and other people. It's the "Healthy Adult" perspective as they say in Schema Therapy. Honestly, I flip between the Healthy Adult, the grandiosity and the shame depending on the moment of the day. But I think I'm veering towards being either grandiose or Healthy Adult Mode. The shame of having NPD or grandiosity is diminishing. But being healthy all the time would both be utterly dull to me now, but also deny this other part of my experience or side of my character. I actually really like my grandiosity - ugh! It feels awesome! It just needs channeling and taming in certain situations. Sadly. 😅 I dunno. ... This condition is bonkers. I still have issues with how to just exist or who I am or should be. Thank you again for your vids. I'm one year in since becoming more fully self aware and accepting. Your channel really helped with this, especially in the early stages where I was really confused. You helped me. Excellent hair and stubble combo, by the way. 😅 We all know it's what really matters!

@jewelcoutcher1059 11 месяцев назад

seeing how you struggle in your videos has helped me to reach the hidden parts of the narcs in my life can i have learned so much about them through you. thank you. I am sorry for your struggles. if you need a friend Jacob, I'm a vet too in Ohio

@jeancsnyman8692 10 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for your channel. I am getting out of a marriage now where my wife has npd, and I've been searching for anyone to tell me that there's hope for a person who sufferes from this condition. I don't want her back, but I also want the best for her. It doesn't even matter much what she thinks of me... I realize that npd frequently arises as a defense mechanism in response to severe childhood trauma, which she did have. I'm so thankful to have discovered your channel.

@emiswi6473 11 месяцев назад

We see you, we support you. Keep going. It's so important what you're doing.

@rebeccac6464 11 месяцев назад

Why he literally uses his platform to threaten and abuse women.

@jeannes.356 10 месяцев назад

Jacob, thank you for helping others, like myself, understand the minds of narcissists. One very positive thing is that you are so introspective. Many others don’t dare go there. I have an idea for you to consider. What about volunteering somewhere, helping those in need? You can be helping them, while also taking your mind off of yourself. That could be a form of therapy. Maybe being active in that way, could help your condition.

@Pozzaa90 6 месяцев назад

Underrated comment!

@itchingbitch 10 месяцев назад

It's a real tough roller coaster ride if you don't like up and downs, or aren't strong in your own self-worth. I had had enough and left to parts unknown by the "boyfriend narci", just so I couldn't be found. The abuse is numbing and it's hard to bring yourself back without help, I can't look at love relationships the same way any longer.

@kimberlygabaldon3260 10 месяцев назад

I like your constructive approach.

@farangisehsani592 9 месяцев назад

I feel peaceful when you talk.

@isabelkloberdanz6329 10 месяцев назад

I think if anyone has a chance of getting out of NPD and recover it’s someone like you. You seem willing and self-aware which is very important. I had to work through a lot of my shame to address some of my attachment issues that I was scared to face but once I moved through the initial shame and discomfort I started to feel like a healthier more whole person. All the pop psychology can certainly be damaging and I think any kind of destigmatization of mental disorders is a good thing. Good luck continuing in your recovery.

@GrgAProduction 9 месяцев назад

ALL narcissists are self aware 😂 they just won’t tell you ever that they did anything wrong or apologise truly.

@mennims 9 месяцев назад

Don't be fooled by him. He's still got strong traits. Imagine complaining about how people treat you when you treat them badly and what's worse is that you won't change or think there's anything wrong with you. If you do want to change, it doesn't automatically mean everyone should fall in line and help you just because you shared your suffering with others.

@MaKayla-nr4qt 5 месяцев назад

⁠⁠⁠@@GrgAProductionyou’re dumb if you think that💀 most are aware of their tendencies/how to use their “skills”, but not ALL are aware they’re TRULY a narcissist. That makes a huge difference…majority of mental illnesses literally works that way. You don’t know what’s going on, you get a diagnosis and learn how to cope with it😂

@happity 10 месяцев назад

NPD is quite a spectrum. And honestly what you're describing in self-reflection sounds especially mild. Believe me, some of us have been full-blown terrorized by the worse end of the spectrum of these people!

@raewynurwin4256 10 месяцев назад

Listen to Sam Vadkin most informed teacher.

@anissaholmes4495 10 месяцев назад

Yes, I agree to the mild approach. These folks are terrors to have in your life. Run! Run! Never look back!

@nawojkaczort3927 10 месяцев назад

@@raewynurwin4256 Sam Vaknin. I recommend dr Ramani too and dr Les Carter from Surviving Narcissism too.

@Rayvn7 10 месяцев назад

Sam Vankin is disgusting and lies often.

@Rayvn7 10 месяцев назад

It might not be that he has "extremely mild narcissism" but instead he might have "venerable narcissism". The vulnerable narcissist I know and also the dangerous one that I encountered as a stranger, both do not do "condescending laughs" like this RU-vidr does, they do not do them EVER. However, vulnerable narcissists do not go to get girlfriends for the sole purpose of thinking "this girlfriend will give me compliments/money" (at least not any more likely then non-NPD non-sociopath people do). Vulnerable narcissists look for girlfriends because they WANT AN ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND, and vulnerable narcissist are also capable of love even though they do not do the things that someone who does love you should be always doing single time or might complain about it sometimes when they do that. Regardless of that fact, they are sad during or after an argument with you for the exact same reason that you are sad. They do not go and talk to people for the sole purpose of abusing them like overt narcissists do. The man in this video describes himself on a way that sounds like definitely overt narcissist, but if he wants a girlfriend for "some reason other then narcissistic supply", it means that I have to watch more from him before I knew which type of narcissist he is. But he also has the possibility that he doesn't fully know what narcissistic supply is, and there is also the fact that he said "the girlfriend is not for narcissistic supply" but he did not say what IS the reason for him looking for a girlfriend. In fact even "looking for a girlfriend" in the first place is a bit bad or narcissistic or abnormal, instead of just actually having a girlfriend by the normal method when someone you happen to know begins to fall in love with each other, rather then "looking for" "a" girlfriend like you are somehow leaving your house specifically for the purpose of "attempting to find a girlfriend" which is weird. Vulnerable narcissists talk like that like "Why won't unspecified girls ask me for a date?" and such, but I don't think they actually go out and "look for a girlfriend" at least the one I know wouldn't do that.

@instagamrr 11 месяцев назад

I’ve come to realize I have strong narcissistic traits, just stronger empathic ones. Most people will say I’m extremely kind, and this is true, but if I didn’t have those empathic traits I’d be in trouble. But still, this has held me back most of my life as I’ve tried to rid myself of those ‘negative’ traits. Bc of the way we dehumanize this, this forces people to push that side of them down - and that’s not always a good thing, especially since EVERYONE has narcissistic traits in them. I take a Jungian approach and I’m now trying to integrate my shadow, which I’ve suppressed nearly my entire life - but if we had more compassion and understanding about narcissism, more people would be whole these days. Society always wants to push away and suppress the ‘negative’ instead of embracing it, accepting it, and then channeling it into building something positive.

@BorderlineFaith 11 месяцев назад

Yesss. Same. I always joke that people don't realize how safe they are just bc i don't look good in orange. Lol 😅

@CYellowan 11 месяцев назад

I think that there is some overlaping with "overly sensitivity" which has been studied a lot more in recent times. More or less, last year ish. Apparently, all animals on earth randomly become overly sensitive. I've seen fruit flies in that same test on the topic, they tend to sit and observ more. And get physically larger brains, for a fly that is. Even seen guppy fishes in another. There's a book 2 women wrote on the topic, i can't help but find narcissism related. Maybe it's emotional neglect, ruining the emotional attunement humans are meant to have? I've felt envy a thousand times over an more. But empathy has stricken me many'a times all the same. The path ahead is integration for sure, it feels like taking control but also accepting all of who one are. And so far? I haven't felt envy in 3 years. It became more and more and more rare as the years went by. But the mental work doesn't stop there of course 👍

@brandonmcalpin9228 11 месяцев назад

I find that people who claim to be a HSP or Empath, they’re just confused. What they’re actually experiencing or perceiving is hyper-vigilance, which is a BPD/NPD trait. They’re just sensitive to other people’s emotions and how it makes them feel. They do this odd form of projection, where they assume the other person is feeling what they’re feeling, then they call this empathy. That also falls in line with “mind reading” or “magical thinking”, which is also a BPD/NPD trait. Most Empaths or HSPs are Narcissists, in my humble opinion. It’s a label in which they can feel special or superior. Also, it tends to be those same individuals who talk about Twin Flames, which is the ultimate Narcissistic fantasy. 😂 I’m speaking from personal experience.

@instagamrr 11 месяцев назад

@@brandonmcalpin9228i also think a lot of terms out there, like super empath or heyoka empath, smack of grandiosity and people who go around proclaiming to be that are usually narcissists

@brandonmcalpin9228 11 месяцев назад

@@instagamrr I agree. It’s delusion of grandeur. I’m not hating on those people, because I used to believe I was an Empath until I became self aware. But they’re all definitely Narcissists or at least, Borderline.

@slightworker5554 9 месяцев назад

I like the glasses 😂 It goes well with the subject: Narcissism

@user-ii3st8yy6v 11 месяцев назад

your hair is on point

@jadejago7664 10 месяцев назад

Yeah your hair is shit hot 🔥 ❤

@ElizaFragmented 11 месяцев назад

Making mad points my guy.

@Patricia_Stewart337 11 месяцев назад

Good timing. I only self diagnosed after meeting Tessa yesterday

@Patricia_Stewart337 11 месяцев назад

Update. One day in shock Today, I feel relief at being self aware. Last night, I woke up at 0300 from a beautiful healing dream. Nameless YOURSELF was a character in this dream. I wrote it down in my dream journal book. It feels like I am connecting via our intersectionality. The cluster B/ autism/ narcissism group home Grateful to finally see what’s going on. To move forward! I see why our friend, Tessa, keeps her comments off. I thank you for allowing us to comment. Thank you for sharing your inner world. It helps me to see what us going on In myself

@Patricia_Stewart337 9 месяцев назад

It’s a journey! My physical health is GREAT since the hidden underlying narcissism is out in the clear.

@DhyanaIris-du1nu 7 месяцев назад

Very useful info!!

@irmavanguard4097 4 месяца назад

After a coworker male talked about himself, i asked him if he is a narcissist and he told me how he would play people against each other and said yes he is but if i would tell anybody what he told me nobody would believe me and he will turn it againt me. I said that he dont have to worry because I wouldn't . I think he was a sociopath but who knows.

@namo4130 3 месяца назад

Hi again, Just wanted to say to you that I'd been deeply in love with a narc that had hurt me for 10 years. Like your videos for that. You help me loafs

@shannonbee 10 месяцев назад

I would give anything for my brother to get diagnosed,He's Abusing my adult nephew,from birth and he's 30,Behind closed doors,But thank you for your video,It's Rare someone admits it,You should be proud God bless you🙏

@timorthelame1 10 месяцев назад

God bless you for seeing and caring. Please let your nephew know that you see it, if you've not done so already. It's a lonely thing to go through without the support of others. I speak from experience. Again bless you for even acknowledging it.

@shannonbee 10 месяцев назад

@@timorthelame1 awwe back at you lots of us have seen all types,bless you thank you🤗

@nappyfries Месяц назад

As someone who highly suspects she has bpd, I so relate about the articles & especially forums like Quora about people with bpd. There’s so much misinformation & hate & behaviors that’s not accurate for everyone. Also the motivation is all wrong too. Being told we’re basically hopeless is devastating. I don’t think I’m hopeless. Most of the time anyways. I’m trying to get help. The feeling of being hopelessness can add to the suicidal ideation that we already have trouble with. In the end, all the horrible things that are said about us makes us NOT want to get diagnosed & definitely adds to the denial like you mention. It’s so not productive. Just like many of the commenters here too.

@SLYKM 10 месяцев назад

I clicked this video bc the title peaked my interest as something I havent seen before. I generally avoid the topic of "narcissists" in videos bc it seems to be about othering, or just labeling selfish/entitled people as narcissistic, even from people who are psychiatrists/therapists, bc I'll feel like they dont talk about NPD as a disorder. I laughed a little inside when I realized that this video seemed to be interesting bc it actually coming from somone diagnosed with NPD. I like real info about phycology or human experience, not sensasionalized videos meant to bring in victims of abuse for clicks. I relate a lot to BPD, and its treatement is similar on the internet tho not as bad.

@quimninja 10 месяцев назад

Missed your regular updates my man

@Thenamelessnarcissist 10 месяцев назад

Haha I’m flattered. Lotta stuff going on in my life lately and it’s made it difficult to make videos. I’m hoping as time goes on some of it blows over/ it’ll be better when my living situation changes. But we’ll see. I’m not dead yet though! Haha

@quimninja 10 месяцев назад

@Thenamelessnarcissist good to hear bro, you're my number one goto , you and cluster B..cluster Bs a bit too aggressive for me lol, my friend who i told after your advice is doing well and carefully tries to manage her NPD, i showed her your channel and as expected..."ooooo hes nice" 🤣..thats somatic Narcissists for you lol. Hope to see many more, you are a resource for 'victims', and lost NPDs people dont ever forget that!

@Tackitt 10 месяцев назад

How do you convince a narcissist to go through the process of finding out they’re a narcissist?

@timorthelame1 10 месяцев назад

The answer is simple. You can't convince a narcissist to go through the process of finding out they’re a narcissist. It's a fool's errand and you're subject to get hurt by even attempting it.

@Tackitt 10 месяцев назад

@@timorthelame1 unfortunately that's exactly what I thought

@slaughterkvng3886 2 месяца назад

You can't convince them it's either their a self aware narcissist or unaware. Greater narcissists are aware of their narcissism. Mid range and lesser narcissists can never become aware of their narcissism.

@VeroNika-gc7mb 10 месяцев назад

I have a question I struggle finding an answer to, maybe you can help me? Sam Vakhnin has a theory that narcissism is always about enmeshing with mother and since narcissist is not individuated from her he assigns his partner a mother role, so through devaluation and discard of the partner (mother) he can subconsciously separate from her. But the individuation never happens then (why?) and why this cycle repeats over and over with a new partner?

@LindaNorstedtENG 8 месяцев назад

I didn’t spiral about my bpd that much, I have it pretty much under control. Npd: I dissociate back and fourth and felt like I would throw up and I couldn’t identify the extreme uncomfortable feeling (I have severe alexathymia (or how it spells) until they said “could” it be shame?” I was like what? Is this shame? And I can’t comprehend that who I am is a “fake self” (hate that word), when I got apd I just laughed and said yeah why not that to (thinking I already knew that since early adolescence). And I think.) and the one who screws with my mind the most is NPD.

@TheGiorgiapolly 2 месяца назад

great video as usual, but still not clear what does a narc when he realizes he is a narc :)))))) I would hear more about your experiences on treatment, what kind of, your friends what treatment they do, some milestones etc, if you want to share of course

@maocharlisme 10 месяцев назад

I think it would be good if all resources about narcissism and narcissists would be specific in who they are for: narcissists themselves *or* the people who (think they) have (had) to deal with them, including (former) victims of narcissistic abuse, *never* for both. This will work best if both sides dedicate themselves and make a promise to never meddle in, respond to or even visit or read the resource that is meant for the other. This way both sides can be emancipated into helping themselves become the best version of themself independently of the other, without the need to either hurt the other or be hurt by the other and even without the need to have the other in their life or be a part of the life of the other. Because when needing the other a toxic dynamic can reoccur while by oneself or with the support of other, new people real healing and bettering oneself to a life which is good for both oneself and people around oneself can take place.

@kayjay7585 10 месяцев назад

I remember hearing about the personality disorders in group therapy and when narcissism came I was like "holy shit, that describes me", except the empathy. I actually have emotional empathy, which was even expanded by some experiences with psychedelics. I have what is called a narcissist personality accentuation, but I call it being on the narcissim spectrum - a model that likely will replace the binary diagnostics. But I for sure was like "hell yeah, if one had to choose a personality disorder, narcissim is it!". My narcissim actually greatly benefited me in therapy, because I wanted to be the "best" patient, so I was determined to trust the therapists fully and it worked. It was hard af and I was fortunate that I was at an impeccable facility. So, being very empathetic and having this destructive inclination to be in control posed a problem, that probably most recovering narcissists have, even if their empathy is just cognitively: how do I prevent that destructiveness from manifesting and hurting others? It's really fucking hard, because there isn't like a lamp that goes on, every time narcissism manifests destructively. It manifests exactly like every other learned (or better ingrained) behavior: it's all either entirely automatic behavior (like lifting your leg when walking up stairs) or a feeling of motivation for a specific action (like wanting to get out handkerchief because your nose is running). However, fundamental to the emergence of said motivations and automatic actions is our internal model of the world with emphasis on the specific environment and situation we find ourselves in at any given moment. And that's where narcissism does a lot of its black magic: by distorting that internal model. Suddenly we hate the friend who was a bit inconsiderate or feel like our partner is abandoning us, because they are talking to someone else. So one thing I started doing was to second guess my perception of reality. It's like gaslighting yourself constantly. It's very taxing and annoying, but it also has the very positive effect of being lucid in a profound way. I believe this is also touched upon in Buddhism, at least so I'm told. Another thing I was already doing at the time was following Jordan Peterson's advice that he adopted from Carl Jung, of identifying what someone (including yourself) really wants by looking at the outcome of their actions. Absolutely amazing technique. Next safety measure was radical honesty and transparency. I started laying out my intentions, including admitting any possible selfish intentions. Lastly, I went above and beyond to prevent that I manipulate by playing the victim / gaining favor through displaying emotional pain. In any negotiation or whatever situation where I want something from someone, I essentially started to surpress tears or paths that would lead there and I made huge efforts, not to bring up my mental health or whatever else could function as a tool to gain sympathy. If you made it this far in this impromptu, stream-of-consciousness essay, thank you! Unfortunately, these safety measures have the side effect of functioning as self-sabotage in a lot of situations. Unaware narcissists will use your honesty and transparency against you in any way they can. And they'll use your vigilance towards your perception and the insecurity that comes with that to drive you insane. I'd go so far as to say, you can't recover as a narcissist if there are unaware narcissists still around you. I learned that the hard way. I had to cut ties with my family of origin, ultimately because of that. And even with good-willed people, you're gonna run into problems if you omit your emotional baggage. I don't have a solution for that. I'm still figuring things out.

@felixoupopote 9 месяцев назад

well put: " Unaware narcissists will use your honesty and transparency against you in any way they can. And they'll use your vigilance towards your perception and the insecurity that comes with that to drive you insane. "

@charshill2978 10 месяцев назад

The narcissistic personality in my life seems to be going through a breakdown. Unable to reconcile his feelings to reality they have decided that they are God.

@cyanosis8520 9 месяцев назад

I understand heavily the bit about you not recommending NPD individuals to look into the average article or video because of how hateful the content is. I don't have NPD, but I have the petulant BPD subtype which mirrors traits of covert narcissism. When I wanted to research it, almost all of it was about how people with petulant bpd were childish and had tantrums when they don't get what they want, they're manipulative, etc. It wasn't about the symptoms, it was about projecting peoples anger to their past abusers. And I understand if your partner or parent did those things to you and learning about their illness brings you comfort, but we are not all like them. Many of us want to change and are working on it every day, and deserve resources that are factual rather than hateful. Not to mention many of us also understand the feeling of abuse ourselves.

@highvibeintelligence 4 месяца назад

I love this guy!

@mennims 9 месяцев назад

I can see your narcissistic traits when your rant about people's perceptions of narcissists - you don't quite get it. You're right that there's misinformation, although not as much as you think. Most articles I've seen say they don't quite choose it and that they are people too. I believe that. However others don't choose to be taken advantage of by you. We need to share our conscious space in the world. You say you deserve some human interaction as long as you're trying, and that mindset is why you're still a narcissist. If you realized you actually don't deserve anything, and instead you have to work hard for what you want like most people, and they will see your failures even when you've tried so hard and done so many good deeds when no one was looking, then you can begin to understand human connection. Healthy humans see you as another conscious being and will help you when they have nothing and they will expect nothing in return because they see you as a fellow conscious being in this crazy life and they understand pain but may have become strong enough to withstand it. So when they see another conscious being like themselves struggling, they remember their own pain and try to prevent that pain from happening to someone else because they know there are other conscious beings who have feelings too. It doesn't matter what you look like and what you've done, healthy people know deep down were all in this crazy world together and it's a nightmare and nothing is quite what it seems.

@kali4967 10 месяцев назад

Okay yes this is actually helpful

@someonerandom1111 10 месяцев назад

I have come to despise NPD person, but somehow I like you so much! Esp because you seem to tell the truth..

@kamolasultanova4471 9 месяцев назад

Ok I watched several of his videos and got a clue of what narcissists feel and I’m grateful for the work he is doing but I better not watch this anymore otherwise I will find an excuse for my narc ex

@christineplaton3048 10 месяцев назад

I didn't think that people could change. What methods or books help? Where do they find help? It's on a spectrum. There are degrees of narcissism and various types of behaviors associated with it. Many enjoy their positions of power over others. Unless forced to make efforts to improve they might never choose to improve.

@october8062 7 месяцев назад

What the internet does not realize when talking about individuals with personality disorder is that those are human and could possibly be you and you just don’t know it yet People should be treated for their actions and choices not be judged just for having a disorder caused by childhood trauma. Then when someone with an ASPD or NPD or BPD … do something wrong whither it’s because the symptoms or not they don’t care they blame the disorder and what that dose is reflecting that action on all the individuals who have that same disorder which is so unfair and reckless thing to do

@rivkaruthgolan 5 месяцев назад

I think one might feel a little bad about it, then shrug and say “Well what can I do about it anyway?” and carry on as usual with a bit more awareness but not really changing too much (just like the rest of us)

@mechanesthesia 6 месяцев назад

Just got this alongside schizoid which I scored higher in and idk how to even parse this at all. I don’t even wanna be around people and complements make me feel weird. There’s so many aspects I don’t relate to. I do have this ideal “image” of who I want to be, but I know I’m not that and it makes me insecure. I wear my insecurities on my sleeve and constantly self deprecating. I don’t think I’m better than anyone. it feels weird , esp since I’ve been prey to other narcissists???

@daftward9292 10 месяцев назад

Hey, I was wondering if you could share your views on Logical Fallacies for a video. I think that would be a good source of content for realistic depictions of narcissism. Also read the comment about microphones and I found that the brand Shure is a solid choice, even if it is a little pricey.

@mollysolomon1883 11 месяцев назад

Saw you quoted in Scientific American article. You’re internet famous.

@Thenamelessnarcissist 10 месяцев назад

Hahaha I like to think I am!!

@MillieVanillie38 10 месяцев назад

Hi there! I don't think I'm a narcissist but I've had bad experience with NPD sufferers in the past. I find the stigma to be INCREDIBLY damaging and it adds such a difficult layer to my healing. Dehumanising people with a mental disorder is absolutely fucking batshit. If there was no stigma surrounding NPD then we would see much less abuse from narcissists

@Mom_Luvs_Tech Месяц назад

I agree. I think it can be treated. And it can be cured.

@SERGE_Tech 10 месяцев назад

what kind of meds do we need to take?

@vorbis4860 10 месяцев назад

If you were searching online for a therapist to go to who is GOOD at treating NPD, what things would you look for?

@DisturbedBurger 10 месяцев назад

NPD is usually talked about as a condition inextricably featuring substantial factor 1 psychopathic traits, but sometimes I wonder if this assertion is an erroneous generalization. Maybe many narcissists aren't so insufferable and just need time away from life in PHP for help accepting their reflection and exercising their inner voice in a safe, low stress low expectation environment? 🤔

@stealthwarrior5768 7 месяцев назад

They are though

@tjtampa214 11 месяцев назад

It could be very helpful if you were to have a video every 5 years with a sort of summary and comments that you could make regarding your progress or your feeling for each year within that five-year period. Even if you stopped doing your YT Channel at some point, you could still do the 5-year report. And you could even extend that further by joining with a therapist you trust who could also make sure the 5-year report gets posted online. Doing this may also contribute to the work being done by the therapist via another outlet. Sometimes, information is better digested in an overview in retrospect rather than moment-by-moment travel. I mean initially that has a lot of value but it also can become monotonous for the person sharing their experience. So at a certain point, just doing something maybe once a year or every five years could be very beneficial considering some of your comments in this video. Some of your comments were that maybe it is not true that narcissists cannot heal or some of the other misinformation that you mentioned. You would be able to contribute a long-term voluntary submission of information / data points. And over time, the more people who contributed in this way then there could be a whole catalog created with better sources than just people that are incarcerated.

@Thenamelessnarcissist 10 месяцев назад

Ooooo that’s a really good idea!!!! I’m going to think about that!!! Maybe I can even get my therpaist to contribute!

@tjtampa214 10 месяцев назад

@@Thenamelessnarcissist Oh Thx! Glad to contribute to the cause! 😉👍

@izil1fe 10 месяцев назад

They reject it.

@birdlover6842 10 месяцев назад

I would call mine autism because I was dx aspergers once with mixed pd. Now I see I don't have most asd symptoms.

@ninamonro3582 11 месяцев назад

Jacob, if you could choose not to know about your NPD would you prefer to live without this knowledge?

@daeclipse03 10 месяцев назад

My ex "asked a friend" after i told her she was and came to the conclusion she has some narcassistic tendencies, "but everyone does or we wouldnt leave the house" like na you check every box and our relationship went thru the entire cycle in 2 months 😂😂

@brandonmcalpin9228 11 месяцев назад

The channels and articles about NPD coming from people who do not have it, isn’t relatable at all. Maybe it’s because it’s from the perspective of the person in the Narcissist’s life? Or maybe they aren’t describing NPD at all. Could be ASPD, more than likely. I’ve been called a Narcissist countless times and when I would do research, I’m like, nah. I read Vaknin’s book and was like, hmm. Maybe. Definitely more relatable. Read Tutor and was like fuck no! This dude is wack. Then came across your channel , “Shit….” You describe your experiences… “Well…. That’s me. Guess I am special after all.” 😂 Then I went through all the other stages, including denial.

@theb2694 11 месяцев назад

As a non-Cluster B, we tend to assume that a pwNPD has malicious intent because we notice that pwNPD (especially the unaware ones) have an absolute disregard for the needs of others. It's sad but it is inherently repulsive to people who don't align. What we don't preceive is that (mostly unaware) pwNPD are really just externalizing the chaos from within. It is very difficult for us to comprehend such brokenness other than to assume that they are monsters. What confuses us more is that the pwNPD thinks we are causing problems for them when in most cases, they are just reacting to their triggers. Once I became acquaintances with a self-aware narcissist, I realized that having NPD doesn't make someone a bad person inherently. I find narcissists most dangerous when they lack awareness (IMO).

@beachlife4346 10 месяцев назад

Most do not have the ability to self reflect or live in any reality beyond their self delusion and denial. More people who have been abused by a Narcissist question if they are.

@ninamonro3582 11 месяцев назад

Jacob, you are lovely, but please buy a decent microphone

@Patricia_Stewart337 11 месяцев назад

Ah, Nameless is “ Jacob❤️👍”

@Patricia_Stewart337 11 месяцев назад

I can hear him ok

@Patricia_Stewart337 11 месяцев назад

@@alexanderj6175 I AM Just now integrating these cluster B aspects with my collapsed narcissist, a little bit histrionic, and solid dead-center autism The collapsed narcissist video Tessa did gave me big AHA just three days ago. By processing it ( accepting, forgiving, moving through and on) I am having a more liberated day today

@Patricia_Stewart337 11 месяцев назад

@@alexanderj6175 Yes, I am And autistic spectrum And likely a bit histrionic I watched Tessa’s Spirit Narc video three days ago, and closely identified with her description of collapsed narcissist. Knowing is helpful. Liberating, allowing me to process, understand, and go on from here.

@hlengiweyourstruly 10 месяцев назад

Sounds okay to me

@msdos5355 10 месяцев назад

Im dark triad criminal autistic. I dont prey on innocent. Im the worst of the worse. I love my traights

@bird0fparadise 10 месяцев назад

For some reason watching this and reading some comment made me wonder this: you know how in 12th step recovery there's this unofficial 13th step of dating other recovering addicts? I think it might have been a joke but it is definitely a thing lol. So is that a thing for self aware narcissists at all? Like are there any ideas for whether you should be in romantic relationships and if so with whom? I'm super curious

@LaniSnowTheLeenieBeenie123 11 месяцев назад

I’m working on my channel next week can I mention you in it? I want to spread awareness about the stigma even tho I don’t have NPD we all need to get the word out about the mental health system

@bonniedunbar6717 11 месяцев назад

Yes mention me please!

@Thenamelessnarcissist 10 месяцев назад

Yeah of course! Make sure to tell me when you start it so I can mention you!!

@LaniSnowTheLeenieBeenie123 10 месяцев назад

@@Thenamelessnarcissist ok I’ll let you know asap

@BelindaVanLill 11 месяцев назад

I was married to a narcissist for 24 years. When I was in treatment for breast cancer he started an affair with a co-worker. Divorced and no contact for almost four years. I was a fool thought divorced adults could still be civilized. Not this troll. I finally got the no contact rule. Here is the thing though. Lots of divorces and so on. But you are really dysfunctional if you replace your children.

@aprilchow-chee5281 10 месяцев назад

That last part so true. Their kids are associated in some way with the shame and pain they cause so if they can forget about them they're okay with that too

@Poppy-yx8js 4 месяца назад

Maybe you could do a video on affective / emotional empathy if you haven’t done this yet. I think this typically is a block to developing deep bonds with others = love . Relationships of a romantic nature are difficult when someone only has cognitive empathy.

@Jimmyboygohome 10 месяцев назад

How do you “recover” from NPD? Isn’t that medically implausible?

@jadejago7664 10 месяцев назад

I'm curious if you know what attachment type you are. :)

@maketheinternetgreatagain5146 10 месяцев назад

Hey Jacob I have NPD and and extremely struggling anyway that’s possible I could contact you

@westwind53154 10 месяцев назад

I make no excuses for my Narcissism. Narcissists get thing done, they are the movers and shakers of society. The set their goals and do not let much get in the way of accomplishing those goals. Everyone is a narcissist to some degree or they are social parasites. Just look at all the channels that try to vilify narcissism. Look at the people speaking: old, tired, whispering wimps that should have the word "victim" tattooed on their forehead. Relationships are hard because they are not static. But the only way to let go of being a chronic victim is to become a Narcissist. I do not advocate being mean to others or hurting anyone or anything - That is not narcissism - that is simple cruelty and it has no place in any society. What I do advocate for is the positive effects of setting goals, accomplishing those goals, and moving on to new goals. That is constructive narcissism and it is a positive force in the universe.

@kma74 5 месяцев назад

Well most of the narcs are fine.Im sure everyone hates the covert malignants and sociopathic ones basically.Every person have some degree of narcissism.Unhealthy and hated ones are the ones far end of the spectrum

@birdlover6842 10 месяцев назад

I already did and feel terrible. It varies between guilt, shame and denial. I have npd, hpd. Self dx primary psychopath because no empathy. When first dx I didn't know what is. Everyone has always hated me so makes sense. I feel trapped. Back to poor ole me business. It does Not run in my family. I'm the purple sheep of the family. I also feel anger and jealousy towards people without my dx. I was not self aware. Don't know if I am self aware now. Thanks for the video.

@delighthahn3403 10 месяцев назад

Ive read that guilt is motivating because it focuses on the bahavior that is fixable & that shame is discouraging because it focuses on the wrongdoer who is labeled in...perpetuity. I have watched narcisists give up because that's just "who they are." Or get stuck in shame when I calmly & kindly point out their disrespect. Eventually I told one of them, "I didnt label you, call you names or say that you're worthless or hopeless. I didn't even THINK those things. Those feelings arent coming from me. Maybe they're coming from our terrible parents etc, but the rest of the world doesnt think that way." Or when they whine, "Give me a second chance...dont judge me.." I'm not judging you, I'm gatekeeping who can touch my life & I want kindness, support & respect same as I offer. I also say, "This IS your second chance (actually 20th +). If I didn't think you could do better, I wouldn't bother communicating my boundaries, I'd just walk away. This is your chance to show that you care about my feelings & this relationship, and treat me better.

@birdlover6842 10 месяцев назад

@@delighthahn3403 I don't know who you are replying to but you are correct about guilt being a motivater. I hope the narcissists in your life treat you fairly. Just realize they are emotionally disabled if they don't. Don't take it personally.

@delighthahn3403 10 месяцев назад

@@birdlover6842 I left my birth family behind years ago due to multiple narcisists controlling things & stirring up drama. Best decision ever. Personal or not was irrelevant to my mental & emotional health. More importantly, I didn't want them to "rub off" on me.

@aprilchow-chee5281 10 месяцев назад

@@delighthahn3403you made the right choice. Me too

@katherines9304 7 месяцев назад

I've been through 24 years of narc abuse and I think I'm probably BPD now but it's ok. I feel like it is a gifted superpower against him. Sick right?

@Patricia_Stewart337 9 месяцев назад

Yeah! I know!!!!!! We CAN integrate our “ disorder”, and heal It takes a LOT of doing NOTHING. Just rest, meditate, (…feel) And wait ‘til you feel like doing something 100% Rest!

@rossfriedman6570 21 день назад

Would you ever do book reviews?

@blankearth5840 10 месяцев назад

Who did you go to get diagnosed?

@i.ehrenfest349 7 месяцев назад

So….public opinion engages in splitting - the narcissist is all bad, and they’re all good.

@tabathaterry2998 10 месяцев назад

Do most narcissists have really bad anxiety?

@maryt7959 11 месяцев назад

How do you see females in general ?

@Thekid398 6 месяцев назад

I would subscribe to your channel but my narcissistic boyfriend may see it and flip 😂 seriously

@Zeroblueeeee 10 месяцев назад

How can you humanise someone who has very few human qualities? When people are demonizing people with NPD it's not supposed to be helpful to you, but for the victim. The sheer amount of damage people with NPD cause is without a doubt one of the biggest causes for shame and even suicide. I myself have had the horrible misfortune of being surrounded by narcissistic personalities growing up, and I may never trust again. God forbid a person with NPD becomes a parent. Almost all forms of abuse are current in those situations. How do you know that you are recovering, when you are so concerned about what the information looks like online. Of course it will effect you, if you are at least a little bit human. Humans can feel feelings like frustration and shame after realising what damage they are responsible for. Feeling emotions like that is something human, but the problem is not that you have caused the damage to others but instead how bad it makes you look.

@NatureFreak1127 10 месяцев назад

Hey, Jacob. What does love mean to you?

@kenrowland7864 10 месяцев назад

What they do.

@BorderlineFaith 11 месяцев назад

Dude i seriously think i have both bpd and npd. Im not mean to ppl anymore but the not dating anyone ever again and isolation is so me. I literally put razorblades in my amazon cart the other day. I'm good but yeah the shame spiral is cray af.

@Aromatic.Bleach 11 месяцев назад

Those two mixed is extremely cringe and gay. Stop trying to be an edge lord. You are not the super special emotional burn victim UwU. Ur trauma made u so scary UwU. Yeah right. Have fun getting sepsis for your cringe self harming pics.

@Reneemfenn 11 месяцев назад

❤️‍🩹

@shannonbee 10 месяцев назад

Oh mate please get help now,phone a help line they can help you,stey strong I'll pray for strength for you,get an emergency appointment at the doctor's,X

@BorderlineFaith 8 месяцев назад

Thank yall for the support sadly that shame spiral has lasted a few months now so i feel im in a combo adhd and bipolar down slope. I even looked up getting a visa to canada for the sake of euthanasia. I also have stage 4 cancer. I wonder how many who seek euthanasia for whatever reason are really borderlines and narcs. I still feel like i want to die but thats part of the dsm for BPD. It doesnt mean we will do it but it should still not be taken lightly bc we have the highest completion rate apart from npd. My spiral is because i lost my apartment my job and my narc. When you have bpd loving someone w npd actually helps. Theyre so bitchy you get on the ball to not let your symptoms overrule you and in my case that allowed for a really beautiful friendship. But i got news about my cancer and went off the deep end and im pretty sure he thinks i left because i didnt want him. Not true at all. I love him the most. Anyone i date after, feels like settling. Which now feels disrespectful to them to think of people as being settled for. But im just honest. Sad thing is i tell men that im head over heels in love with him and literally theyve tried to kiss me. Im like wtf im being honest about my love for another man why did that make it open season for love all of a sudden bruh. Idk life is kinda rough homeless, cancer spreading and terminal and broken hearted and broke. Yeah well at least mariahs back on the radio for me to banshee while through my drunken heartache.

@renetiabruce9024 7 месяцев назад

How did you come to realise that you were a narcissist?

@Reneemfenn 11 месяцев назад

Won’t go to therapy, be honest in session for growth vs won’t accept diagnosis? Non-standard form of anyway: anyways

@SarahElise-so3sy 7 дней назад

Fml.. I've been diagnosed with BPD, but after watching these vids, I realise I have alot of these narcisstic traits.. and I probably AM a narcissist. I find people getting upset with me, but I never understand why.. maybe I hurt people and don't realise I'm doing it 🤷‍♀️ I don't wanna be like this

@beachlife4346 10 месяцев назад

Nothing like creating a Narcissist starting a narc channel to help others get over being NPD. Not at all Narcissisic lol.😂😂😂😂😂 Like openning a bar because you are an alcoholic yet think you will help others with their drinking by offering them a drink and then toasting to that with them. 😂😂😂😂😂 Proof of being unaware is here...but let me lead the way... my NPD says you should, 😂😂😂😂😂

@ItsSoarTime 5 месяцев назад

I WISH, WANT, DESIRE...WILL...AM MANIFESTING...THAT MORE PEOPLE SUBSCRIBE TO CHANNELS LIKE THIS ONE AND HEAL NPD AND RECOVERY FOR THE NARCISSIST so that people can FINALLY learn that NPD is a MENTAL DISABILITY.

@Owyourhurtingme 9 месяцев назад

Aww he has sheepishly sad eyes.

@lees.9597 6 месяцев назад

The most popular doctor on RU-vid the speaks about NPD says that its basically incurable and only talks about defending oneself from these apparent monsters. I learned from Sesame Street that even monsters deserve love and support✌️ I think modern psychology shuns NPD for the same reason they avoid clients with C-PTSD- Its too complex, and they can keep busy enough with people with mild depression and other less demanding patients.

@belove9 10 месяцев назад

Every single diagnosis in the dsm 5 was voted into existence by the APA without any type of scientific or measurable testing. With that being said, the symptoms of NPD and other mental disorders that they made up are very real. I believe people who are "narcissists" come from a generational curse if we are talking in spiritual terms. I noticed in my narcissistic family that the golden child typically becomes narcissistic and the scapegoat becomes an empath. I'm curious if you come from freemason blood? It would explain everything!

@The_New_Abnormal_World_Order 10 месяцев назад

Interesting. Do you believe narcissism is more common amongst FMs?? I know one and he isn't narcissistic but definitely has a lot of issues stemming from an abusive childhood.

@mennims 9 месяцев назад

What you've noticed is not spiritual... It's documented. Of course if you praise a human from a young age without them accomplishing things they will become narcissistic.

@mennims 9 месяцев назад

@@The_New_Abnormal_World_Ordermaybe it's because FMs are typically narcissistic and appeal to narcs?