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What Enneagram 9s Secretly Want in Love

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3 Secret Things Enneagram Type 9s Want in a Relationship 😘
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Abbey Howe
What Enneagram 9s Secretly Want in Love
• What Enneagram 9s Secr...
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Опубликовано:

15 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 62

@francesca.pellegrino 2 года назад

My 9w1 partner is a chemist, so when I once said “We’re hydrogen bonds!” When we were sitting next to each other. He told me he’d rather be a covalent double bond and hugged me. That’s still freaking adorable and your video reminded me of that time.

@KendrixTermina 2 года назад

aww that is so cute

@lifecoachingtoronto 2 года назад

Cute little covalent double bond :p :)

@miriamhodges5632 2 года назад

I'm a 9w1 and I legit got teary listening to these points. These are SO true. It was like someone just looked into my soul and pulled out what I need from a relationship. Thank you for helping people understand us!! It means a lot 🤗

@AbbeyHowe 2 года назад

😭😭😭😭 thanks for your comment, Miriam. It’s heartwarming to know that you feel seen through something I film in my living room. Thank you for being here!! ♥️

@Akigirl2004 2 года назад

I came here to say the exact same thing. 9w1. Started tearing up.

@carolinethornell8268 2 года назад

Same 9w1!! haha I never put to words all these feelings, and I'm so thankful to have it all verbalized!!!!!!

@kathyhughes8196 2 года назад

Nailed it! I think that Suzanne Stabile quote is super important. When we ARE confident and passionate about something, not only do we want to make the decisions, but it is hurtful when someone walks over us and makes the decision for us. But stuff like where to eat, etc., or anything we're not confident or passionate about, yes, please! I have learned to say to my husband when he asks what I want (like on a date night) "What I really want is for you to decide. That would make me happy."

@lisagarcia8967 2 года назад

My husband is a 9, and I’m an 8. This was VERY helpful! Sometimes he seems so laid back and like he doesn’t really need much. I need to give him more of these things, he’s been a good partner to me. He’s learned to adapt well to my type 8 ways!

@hoosierdeddy92 2 года назад

I'm a 5w6. My girlfriend is a 9w1. My biggest mistake is saying "What do you feel like" when she asks what's for dinner.

@ahope9913 2 года назад

😂😂😂

@christinagillam7365 2 года назад

Lmao this is too real.

@ZosiaDabrowski 2 года назад

You reminded me of how pleasantly surprised and quietly touched I am when someone remembers little details I told them weeks ago. Another very big and related thing I would add, which is my biggest longing in life- To be seen and known, and ACCEPTED and LOVED unconditionally when they know the whole me- that’s all I’ve ever wanted in all my relationships. A few days ago I was feeling judged and very vulnerable at work for confessing a Thing and could feel myself shrinking again, and I talked to my manager about it after work and confessed to her. I thought it would damage her professional opinion of me, but she didn’t bat an eye and told me she thought the world of me, and I just burst into tears. I was a mess in front of her with all that affirmation, and to be seen and sooo valued and respected, especially by higher-ups, that hit me to my core.

@lifecoachingtoronto 2 года назад

Exactly, they seem super casual and like "I'm cool", but they actually want their partner to notice what they need "_

@masonreeves4775 2 года назад

Me an 8: "Why does this person exist?" Also Me an 8: "This is acceptable."

@HighFiveFriend 2 года назад

Great video!! Many 9s initially mistype as 5s, and this brings to light how (when you go beyond surface level) 5s and 9s are VERY different!! Thanks Abbey!!! 🙌

@hollyhawkins8419 2 года назад

As a 9, this was an AMAZING video! I felt seen and validated just watching it… such a 9 thing, right!?! Thanks for your amazing content 💖

@joyberryyy 2 года назад

Having a healthy type 5 boyfriend is the best thing for me because these are all natural to him💓

@michellecooper2041 2 года назад

I'm a 9 and my husband is a 6. I feel very lucky because I don't think anyone else would be as patient with me, Lord bless him.. I have a hard time telling my husband what I want because I feel like it won't be real and he's just checking a box because I asked.

@laisvanrossum306 2 года назад

I'm a nine but I actually don't want people to just make decisions for me. I want them to ask my opinion because I want to feel like my opinion matters and don't always have to compromise and do what the other wants

@LeeLeeBellePBJLee 2 года назад

9w1 and I don't want to be the decision maker, I do want to be asked for my thoughts though. Sometimes I want veto power, haha. Like I may not know what I want to eat but if you give me some options I may be able to narrow down the options through what I don't want.... but don't plan my life out for me.

@Avionne_Parris 2 года назад

Thanks for this, Abbey! My mother's a 9w1 so this was really insightful. Also a few of my characters are 9w1s and 9w8s so I literally took notes lolz.

@aaroncollins735 2 года назад

Abbey, this was so so legit! I’m a Nine, with some 7 in me. Even though I usually plan dates with my wife, I struggle with speaking up about decisions, especially major ones! However, I am consciously working on that, among other things. My wife is a strong 1, so A TON of relationship dynamics between us! Anyway, God Bless you and your videos Abbey. So grateful!

@Uknowthatimnogood Год назад

As a 9 I feel attracted to type 1’s because they seem so sweet. 1’s can be so caring.

@ahope9913 2 года назад

I want someone to encourage me do want i want to do ,someone can understand me ,and someone never ever give up on me 🙂👤..

@eliftezer4848 2 года назад

Infp 9w1 youre precious. 🤗😊 He likes all touchy things=hug, kiss, hold hands etc. And yes an an 5w4 I have huge memory and yes details attracts him. 🤭😁 He is calm, also panicky sometimes but Im panicky too haha, big empathetic person, funny, clever, respectful...

@LeeLeeBellePBJLee 2 года назад

Ah! Female INFP 9w1 dating a male INTP 5w4! Your comment made me happy!

@savant1199 2 года назад

The best coincidence of my life... You made this life perfect for me, I was trapped in its bad parts before. My savior, my guide, my beloved and many more 😇

@jei-nhybarino4903 2 года назад

As some of my fellow 9w1s mentioned, I too almost teared up hearing this! It’s on point, 100%. This video made me smile so big because to hear what I need in a relationship explained and expressed so well made me so excited. My brain kept scream YES! as the video progressed. Thank you for your work and noticing us!

@CecilMeowzer 2 года назад

The accuracy of this. Thank you so much for helping me understand myself with all these videos!

@AbbeyHowe 2 года назад

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

@mlek1313 2 года назад

#2 for sure. I've been single most of my life and I'm fine with that, but I have thought it would be nice to have someone to make decisions with.

@Redberryfarm888 2 года назад

Yes... 9w1 here, too... and yes...not only teary but a bit of 'ouch'... (wish I would've known myself better years back... maybe not being so vulnerable as I was...) Well ...we 9's persevere on!

@joyfulosity 2 года назад

New to the enneagram 9w1 here! I had no idea that the insecurity and hating/fearing to be overlooked was a Type 9 thing! Wow… 🤯 I loved the melding of the minds and the DNA analogy, so true as well, on BOTH counts! Thanks Abbey for another super insightful video 😍

@goldberryfaery Год назад

TRUTH!! Made me cry it's so true!! What a great teacher you are Abbey!! New favorite Enneagram person!! 💕

@tyleremery7088 2 года назад

Yep, absolutely. I know these well. My fiancee and I are both 9w1.

@user-bg5im5kl7b 2 года назад

I really love bed cuddles… I can lay on him for hours and not be bored.

@sezztooley Год назад

could you do videos like this for friendships too? my bestie is a 9w1 and I wanna know how not to be overwhelming as a 2w1 lol 😂

@courtneycarroll4294 2 года назад

Please do type 2 next! Or soon! My husband is a 9w1, and this is all so true for him, thank you.

@gregwilliams9749 2 года назад

Loving your work, Abbey! My wife and I took the enneageam as part of our pre-marital counseling (classic 2/9 pairing) so I'm always watching your Type 9 videos to learn to love her better. I had this idea that you might want to pursue: historical figures/ culture icons/saints broken down by enneagram type. I'm thinking saint Francis would be a 4 while saint therese definitely seems like a 9. What do you think? Thanks again!

@SusanaMHG 2 года назад

Thank you so much! I am in a relationship with an amazing 9w1 and this is gold!

@Gandellion 2 года назад

This was really cool and I relate a lot to it. Whenever I think about enneagram I get a pretty even split between 9 and 4, so I’d love to heave this for the other types

@randomgaygirl 2 года назад

Thank you Abbey. We love you!

@hossboss32 Год назад

Im a 9 and if all was possible I want someone that can read my mind and understand my heart and thought process without explanation. Which I get is impossible and therefore I stay single. Lmao

@KendrixTermina 2 года назад

Oh is this a new series? Great idea! looking forward to all the entries you seem to have nailed this one judging by all the ppl getting emotional in the comments. as a writer im defs taking notes

@gwynethalanko9898 2 года назад

This is so accurate for me...thanks for your fun videos!

@thetherapycenter3954 Месяц назад

of important note, or an interesting video idea, what happens when the 9 is mixed with a selfish person, who chooses themself over the 9 in all decisions, where to do for dinner, where to go for vacation, what to do with extra funds, etc. and then MASK their generosity as if it is all for the 9 and blame the 9 for not being appreciative.

@masonreeves4775 2 года назад

My father is a 9 and my mother is a 6. And then there was me.........an 8.

@ashlondajacobsgrzyb8048 2 года назад

9w1 here and this was spot on !!! Secret thing #3 was mind blowing! Never looked at it that way!

@KindHarmony 2 года назад

Great video! My wonderful spouse is a 9...this is accurate! 🤗💛

@FrogParty415 2 года назад

I feel seen by these comments! Great video!

@aoichan0791 2 года назад

9w8 here! This hit the nail on the head. Thank you for this video! I'm sharing this video with my husband

@carolinethompson376 2 года назад

Accepting that I occasionally need alone time without taking it personally!

@PaperSquirrelsCardDesigns 2 года назад

Really helpful thank you! I really like how you dig deeper into motivation by taking those fears and "flipping" them around, makes sense!

@ThomasDoubting5 Год назад

I seen a video about number 9 but the comments section was switched off , so I share here , if you count the number position of the word love and add each number , you get 54 you know the rest

@margaretjudice8944 2 года назад

Great information!

@meganh9241 2 года назад

YESSSSSS THIS IS SO ACCURATE IT'S SCARY

@t_for_toiki 2 года назад

Can you please explain tritypes!! I love ur videos!

@Madison-xs6mb 2 года назад

I don’t even know what I want 😅. Sincerely, 9

@meganh9241 2 года назад

I was just curious if fours and nines often coincide? Because a lot of these sound like fours too, and I've been going back and forth between the two. I'm like eighty percent sure I'm a nine, but I'm kind of curious