What Women Are Looking For On A First Date 

Bonus Content: I Tell Her Women Are Too Entitled. She Disagrees! www.patreon.com/posts/patreon-i-tell-30452687

Always have a mindset of screening her, whether she is worthy or not, instead of the other way around. *She has to prove herself to you.*

I hate how complicated people are. It's like playing chess every time you want to have a human interaction. Add romance into it....and it just becomes a hot mess. Everyone overthinks everything. And, of course, all the pressure is on the MAN. He needs to make ALL the decisions. Make the good impression. Be assertive, but not toooo assertive. Communicate, but don't talk toooo much. Be nice, but not toooo nice. Be manly, but also be sensitive. Everything that is happening is in the desperate hopes of snagging HER attention and attraction. The woman's role is completely passive. The man is there to entertain HER. She did her part just by showing up to the date. Now DANCE, MONKEY! DANCE!!!! And you better do a good job, because she's got another date with Mike lined up for tomorrow! No pressure, bruh!

This is 100% true. I've had girls tell me where they wanna go or what they want to eat but as soon as we're on a date they become to indecisive to choose.

How to AVOID a woman seeing you as a meal ticket on a first date: DON'T TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER ON THE FIRST DATE!!!!

I actually have a date tomorrow and Alexander drops this video. Edit 5 days later: it went super well! Tomorrow's our third date. I think I've found my high quality woman 👍 Edit 22 months later: we just had our first child 4 days ago. My God time flies.

If I see signs during the date that she's a girl-power feminist, I'll be letting her pay her half. If I see signs during the date that she's a girl-power feminist and she still expects me to pay... I flip the table over and escape in the confusion, never to be seen again :)

If her being with me isn't the motivation, then I am just being used.

Always close the date with talking about careers. Then when she talks about her job.. and how she makes ALL this money.. that's when you hit her with the *"ok let's split the check"*

Bad advice. Don't take her to a restaurant for dinner on the first date. Go for drinks.

1. Money 2. Health 3. Confidence 4. Charisma 5. Money

When I was younger I never offered to pay for my half. I didn't realize men were in this position if being used for free meals. I thought if I offered to pay, it made me seem lower value. Then I began to insist in paying my half f the first date. But I realized guys dont like that either. So now I will offer to split the bill, let him pay, and then shower him with gratitude and affection for doing so. This way works well

It's too awkward to pay for her in the first day, maybe after when you know each other so well that you know she isn't taking advantage of you.

Never do food on a first date. It's a total waste.

The red flag mentioned in this video is spot on: a girl with no team sense will only weigh you down. Clever Ben Franklin effect with the dessert.

Free food, that’s all they’re looking for

fun fact, first date i ever went on my nose started running like crazy literally 5 seconds before she came up to me to say hi, and my forst words to her were something along the lines of "hold up, my nose is running and i dont have a tissue with me" with me covering my face for 5 minutes and asking strangers for tissues. rest of the date didnt go so well

It’s doesn’t matter what “she“ wants on a first date. Only I matter lets go

If you pay on the first day she will expect you pay on the second and third

met my wife at Denny's, back in 1999. she was there having coffee and being lazy with her friends at 2 am on a friday in january. one of my friends knew one of her friends, so we went over, sat down, and just chatted and joked a little bit. it was very relaxed, very easy, very comfortable. before i left, i asked for her phone number, and she gave it to me. next weekend, we went to Denny's and hung out and had coffee in jeans and hoodies. talked and laughed and had a GREAT time, no pressure or expectations. our friends showed up a little later (we were all regulars there), so we all sat around the table eating ice cream sundaes and smoking until about 4 am. better believed i married THAT girl. have we had problems? better believe it. LOADS of problems!!! so many terrible arguments!!! so many times when we were ready to break up or get divorced!!! so many horrible things we've said sometimes! SO many great times, amazing memories, travels, amazing sex, sticking together through funerals and tragedies, in the money and out of it, losing jobs and getting new ones, feeling depressed and wanting to give up, supporting each other when the other couldn't stand on his/her own, picking up the slack when the other was too weak or sad to do it. it's called LIFE. guys, stop LOOKING and TRYING so hard. when you meet someone casually, you'll know. you'll just feel it. stop "approaching women". you will NEVER force a relationship. it has to "just happen". if you're "working for love", you're doing it ALL WRONG. stop chasing good looking gold diggers and beautiful, awful women. stop listening to your pride say "i NEED a gorgeous woman that my friends will be jealous of!!!" you want a life partner. not a living doll. when you're old and your body starts failing, you need someone who'll be there. and she needs the same from you. do you love and value yourself? then hold out for a woman who loves and values herself, too. that's the big "secret". if you or her can't love, value, and forgive yourself....you and she won't ever be able to love anyone else, either. stop looking. when you go out looking, you will NEVER find her. but when you click....it'll just happen. things will just be kind of easy. just trust me on this one.

1. She wants you to pay. 2. She wants you to treat her like a perfect princess. 3. She wants gifts and compliments. 4. She wants you to put her first. 5. She wants she wants she wants, and her mere gender entitles her to it.

First date: Grown people should pay for their own damn food. Doesn't matter who initiates the date. If you're an adult and you agree to go out somewhere, expect to pay your own way. When you take children out to eat, they expect to not pay because they are children lol. Grown ppl should not expect another person to pay for the food they gulp down. That's ridiculous

I'm loving your content, Alexander! It reminds me very much of Doc Love! Please read his book 'The System' if you haven't already. It is a compilation of his 40-year-long experience interviewing women's romantic choices and working for sales companies. He even has a weekly radio show to back up the book and where readers can call in for his advice. I strongly suggest you connecting with him, if you haven't already done so! That being said, Doc Love suggests men pay for the dates when they ask women out. If the women want to pay on those dates, a man should tell them that he will get the receipt this time and if the lady wants to pay, she can gladly ask him out and then pay (thus getting women to chase men, which is one of the main themes of the book). I live in Europe but I would stay up all night long, just to listen you guest-starring on Doc Love's radio show! Cheers and keep up the good work!

Man i love your way of analyzing courtship and relationship dynamics, you are always spot on.

In a nut shell; just be your self, nothing less and nothing more while enjoying your self. If she doesn’t like you, move on. Eventually you’ll find a compatible partner. Expectations goes both ways.

I like how Adam Lane Smith puts it - find out all the essentials on the first date: both party's expectations for the relationship, goals (life career, etc), dreams, current progressions, etc. The crazy ones will get pissed and walk away. Congrats, you just saved a lot of time and headache. Some guys may think this is too strong of an approach, but in my own personal experience, there are girls out there who appreciate having that kind of conversation and will genuinely attempt to engage. Obviously not everyone has put thorough thought into what they want their lives to be like in 5 years down to every little detail, but it's fun exploring that on the first date to see what they come up with. Everyone has a general idea, it's just a matter of being brave enough to admit it's what you want despite no guarantee it'll happen.

That first blonde girl doesn't speak clearly. had to play back a few times to work out what she said - very irritating.

Keep up the amazing work.

A date is a reward for a woman. Never take someone you do not have a close relationship with on a date.

I already have a gf and I still use this advice, it allows me to set a good line for my masculine side. Good video!

Great advice. Im taken but another one from the Mrs is dont take her to a known romantic site like a night beach walk on a first date. Too much pressure

Absolutely love this frame of advice, I really can’t explain how much confident I’m after listening to you Man. Seriously thanks a lot for your advice and Your doing a good job by teaching something to a man like me and others it’ll really help me so much to build up myself :)

I try to reserve dinner for second and third dates. If you're going out to dinner on a first date, you might as well just take that money you were going to spend and go gamble it at the casino because there's a good chance she's there for a free meal lol.

First dating channel I've subscribed to. Truly good work.

AG, you give good practical advice. Thanks dude, you have a good heart. Being able to build a consulting business out of this idea is just cool AF.

Lots of great insights here. Thanks for the info.

This video reminds me of that South Park episode with "The Dog Whisperer"

Great point about what a date is like from her side. She's getting to join in on your life by going on a date with you. I hadn't thought of it that way before. Thank you.

I'm not sure if this is a pattern but I love how this video ended....you said the last word and video over. Having no outro is kinda cool.

this is great advice! it deals with the dilemma

Really good advice, I appreciate the video and the work you do

Great advice, as always.

Alexander..... Awesome insight... this is so crucial

On first date I usually do something related to sports like mini golf or other stuff and then go for some refreshments.

You‘re a living legend!

Moving her from one location to another is great advice. I like to do dinner within walking distance of the second place.

Dude, you stole every single one of my tips for a first date!

I’m a girl and I agree 100%

This is very good advice actually.

Great video!

I love those words “take control”

I love your videos. I always gain KNOWLEDGE from watching your videos.

Great vid.

Thank you Alexander.

Very sound advice.

Never thought of having them financially invested in me before. Great insight Alex!

Oh lord, this video came in handy as today I have a date, thanks!

I honestly think men should stop focus on what women wants and start focussing on what they want, from a date, from life, from work, from a companion, from their journey. A good woman will come by herself, seeing you and maybe liking you back, if you stop focussing on others and start focus on yourself, improving yourself by KNOWING yourself. As the improvement starts from the heart, from the knowing of our path, finding what we really want from life, but as a man. What we can build for others, to be useful to who we love, and act in order to do it. And that will be a path to become a better human being, that is way more important than anything else in life. Anything

An offer means nothing when it’s absolutely known, there’s no true intent behind it.

good take

Thanks alexander grace

Smooth moves. Good stuff.

Why do you ask the woman anyway? You don't ask a fish how to catch one.

You finally corrected your exposure.

Wow, good advice

I troll the hell out of modern women by sneaking in to the waiter "I've got it, both of them" and just watch ow fuming mad she's about to get. I just grab the popcorn.

When I start going out with a girl , I’m paying for the dinner but make it clear that I’m not gonna always pay, and I never had any troubles with that every times she always replied sure of course, thanks for this one appreciated. and after that every times we go out or buy something that serves both of us, it’s always one for me and the next time for her, never had any problems with this,

Funny, she reveals almost EVERYTHING in her first reply. She desperately wants a man to lead. "It shows he cared" She CLAIMS she wants control, but if you notice...she actually even then says "i think i would want to plan a date" The key word is THINK. Women Need a man to lead!! Even with all the lies of fem in ism🤣🤣🤣. She doesn't want to think as much in a datee or the start of a relationship. She wants to THINK when NOT on a date. When on a date she wants to Follow and feel... and feel mostly WONDERFUL. She wants to feel safe and comfortable. With actually all her emotions sneaking in... but Mostly POSITIVE emotions.

I would be curious to know your thoughts on this concept when you're past the dating stage and are in a relationship. In my experience, I've loathed being responsible for all the fun my partner is having. I've felt with earlier relationships that they're sense of worth is tied directly to me, rather than to the things they're already doing. I also start to feel like I'm being taken advantage of when all planning for dates and nice things falls into my hands. Then, when I do make these plans but they're not what my partner wants at the time, the drive to want to plan anything dies. All of these separate situations have happened to me in different relationships, and each one of them bums me out big time.

very good tips

You are Heavenly Angel. Love from Far away India.

It is simple. If one person makes the ask to the other - that person plans and pays. If it is a mutual or casual thing - then the planning can be different. Now, obviously, if you are doing the planning it helps to know if they have any specific dietary needs (allergic to something, etc.).

Screw all that!!! Just invite her around to your house to watch a movie and see if you have a connection. If you do, then take her on a date, if you don’t, you saved yourself money

This topic ties into your talk about how women are boats visiting islands -men.

Rule #1, let her pay for her own meal, because women want equality. Tell the waiter before ordering that you want separate bills.

Hm, makes sense and seems like solid advice. I'll have to try that next time

I liked your tldr. Take dance styles for example: how many dance styles exist where the woman leads and the man follows. Or music bands: there aren't practically any all-female bands where their music is more important than just them being special for the fact that there aren't many all-female bands.

Expectations are just premeditated resentments!

I'm doing all the wrong things (feels bad) and she's taking a lot of the initiating before I could even collect my thoughts and decide. Somebody explain this weird dynamic to me. Do I flip the table to balance it or take full initiation?

I like your style, young man i take them riding or shooting on a first date .. Later is dinner, I have a plan A and B for restaurants; I make TWO reservations. Women like choices , not questions. Pay in ca$h at a restaurant, women are impressed when they think you don't have credit card debt.

I wish I'd seen this video last year.

1) looks; 2) looks; 3) looks-inspired confidence

I was approached by 2 local girls who wanted to take me on a date, while I was touring abroad. I politely declined because I was in a foreign country which I've never been to before and I would rely heavily on them to guide me everywhere. They would make all decisions for me and that can be seen as taking care of me. I didn't want to give off that impression. I always wondered if what I did was the right choice and what would happen if only I had accepted. After watching this video I am more relieved that I made the right choice and I'm more prepared for next time.

a 3rd option... have the girl pitch in a super minimal amount like $1. This actually sets a good tone, and she can often have a bit of resentment when they have to pay for the next purchase.

I agree 100%. What bugs me is when you get to the third, fourth and fifth date and they still are expecting you to be the one nearly every time that has spent the effort to come up with a creative and unique outting or even simply know what they even are in the mood to eat. How do you not know what you are in the mood to eat nearly every time? Why can't you come up with anything creative you have been wanting to do when asked? This is so common in my experience. Makes me wonder if they are going to end up becoming a boring wife in the long run. How do you encourage their ongoing creativity while still remaining your masculine self in the relationship? Are these early red flags of a boring marriage or are they playing the part of being overly submissive in the beginning and is no indication if they will be more creative later?

My favorite first date was a park. We walked around and had great conversation. Swinging on the swings. I'm still disappointed that, that didn't work out. Also I completely ignore men who want me to pay on dates. Whenever I have offered in the past they panic and think I'm friend zoning them.

Very good video

No to paying for dinner . You wanna know if she has any interest in you . I don't care if she thinks I'm cheap , don't need her if thats the case . You ask for separate checks to take care of any confusion and you let her know over the phone so she isnt shocked . If she wont go out with you then you got your answer how interested she really is in you .

The entire video boils down to a question of who pays the bill. Shows really how women value dates.

First date is never dinner. First date is spend time with you date. Out for you. Not for anything else. If it's something else. Ciao.

Wonderful advice. I'm a straight dude but I want to go on a date with Alex!

I pay for the dinner and let her pay the tip. Let her choose how much/if she pays, tells you a lot. Works for me.

This is good 👍👍👍👍

If you offer and then pay for a nice dinner all while telling her that she can then pay for dessert, any acting up/change in her behaviour with that idea is a red flag.

One thing I don't like about a first date is a super expensive formal restaurant date, there's something it that's super stuffy and uncomfortable. A first date is just about finding out if the natural attraction is there, for me personally the best spots are casual restaurants/bars :) Also I think it's just basic manners to atleast say thank you is someone pays for your meal, even if it's not a date. Any high quality woman out there is DEFINITELY saying thank you after being treated. Hopefully!

Never been so early, i am simple man i see alexander grace video i press like

I've only had one girlfriend, which lasted only 4 months, but even then, I learned the hard way that yeah, they are totally indecisive. We would go out and I ask what place she might like to eat. She would look at me with these standby eyes and say "I don't know. You pick." And then when I suggest a place, she says "Nooo, not that place." It was like watching a cute creature not knowing what she wants, having trouble deciding her own fate, but at the same time it was maddening. I wanted to be polite and have her steer me to a place she'd enjoy, but no, _I_ had to be the one who decided where we would be, and she would have to just deal with it. It went against everything I thought about people. She was truly submissive, and when either of us tried to step out of our role, it went disastrous. It was just awkward. Guys, make the decisions. You have to lead them literally everywhere and into every action, just like a pet. It's odd, but apparently that's all I can compare it to.

The moment when I heard "If the evening was a disaster, dont waste also the money and split" i pressed like button XD

Lunch on a first date. The reason being, it's cheaper, if it goes well you can spend the afternoon together, which then leads to the evening. If it's bad then you can bail out because you have other plans.

I always tell them to get the tip.