When You've been Cheated On | Jordan Peterson 

🥺🙏🏽

God bless them forever

It’s not that fucking hard. It should be the norm.

Never going to happen again here.. I knew but when i said it i was the crazy one. After 8 years of being freinds and later on lovers with no words at all he left. Most hurtfull thing i ever went through. I now know he was a narc and i fell for it. Two years later and still not totally over the betrayal. But i will get there.

Always know, it wasn't your fault.

@@Ytdeletesallmycomments that's right. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with her. You were and are good enough, smart enough, handsome enough....

Combatwombat: Try being married to someone for 29 years that you loved and thought you knew very well. But they were always avoidant and intimacy anorexic. Believe me, their behavior completely blindsides you because there is no change that you can spot!

I understand bro...Left me two weeks before my birthday after 2+ years for someone else. 3 months later, I'm better but I still don't trust people and I get bad days. Hang in there bro

I just found out my gf and best friend of 3 years cheated two weeks ago. It makes you question everything.

I know the feeling. It’s been 9 months since and it still haunts me every day. But we’ll come out of this stronger!!

What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her psyche, well-being or mind/soul/spirit. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way. Cardi B. artist & role model for the most privilege 🦄 on the entire planet: '''My music is always going to make a woman feel like a bad bitch. When you make a woman feel like she’s the baddest bitch in the room, to me, that’s female empowerment.''' Feminist's Ideology from Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook: '''My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.''' Isaiah 3:12 *Childish* leaders oppress my people, and *women* rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road. Proverbs 31:3 Don't give your strength (attention, resources, mental point origen) to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings. Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. *Sex and Culture* by Joseph Daniel Unwin *The Rational Male Series* by Rollo Tomassi *The Manipulated Man* by Esther Vilar *The Myth of Male Power* by Warren Farrell *The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality* by Bob Lewis *Anatomy of Female Power* by Chinweizu Ibekwe *Men on Strike* by Helen Smith *Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual* by Anonymous

@@nashbreen same thing happened with me. I'm so glad the OP here felt better in just a year, that's great. It's been over 2 years for me and I still struggle every day, just telling myself that one day all this pain will make sense.

What if you only find out years and years later

@@mags4634 if someone cheats they will always cheat so just find someone else

@@mags4634 If you find out years and years later, then they have also done it recently.

Have you ever been cheated on in a long term relationship?

@@leannmeddings4068 1 year relationship and i found out a few days ago that she's been cheating for 3 months, you can't trust no one in this world bro 💀

Have you heard of Stephanie Carne's?

Sigh

4 times the size of a lion....

If it keeps happening to one person then there is a common denominator somewhere...it’s possible for someone to suck so bad that they drive their partner right into the arms of someone else.

It's possible to try so hard that you settle for people who are bad for you. Make sure you love the person, not the idea of being in a relationship.

Trying to be good isn't always good for yourself. You need a level footing in a relationship and that requires negotiation skills.

@@hankriseshill1898 Look whatever the case is, it all boils down to this. Cheating is a choice. The perpetrator knows the boundaries of their relationship. It is their choice whether they want to choose their partner and honor the relationship or do what their flesh wants. No matter how much you love your partner you have to CHOOSE them over and over again. Temptation will come it is our choice how to battle that temptation. If your partner is bad then you leave. It is as simple as that, there is no excuse for cheating.

Never happened to me.

Are you okay now? Did you leave her?

@@orimations3533 have been trying to work through it. She had a 6 month affair after the initial discovery. It has been extremely difficult. Seems like she missed the lifestyle but not the person.. Still working through it. It has its ups and downs. It’s been a year of trying to fix it. Most things are uncertain. I still barely trust her. I can’t help but feel that no matter what, I’m not what she wants. I just give her what she wants.. idk. Will check back if you ask me to

You love the illusion of who you thought he was. Fix you first.

Are you still with him? I relate very much to your comment. Thanks for it.

You are in love with the person you thought they were, not the person they are. Another thing is you don't fall in love over night and you can't stop the love overnight even when you hate them too. The heart has a hard time letting go.

I’m in the same boat. Trying to reconcile a year and a half after D day with a therapist. Still not sure how to feel okay again while remaining in my marriage.

​@@thebodymenderunfortunately you never can..... Well wishes ❤

Amen!

Lol. Because JBP is making a hyperbolic joke. "Not happy." But we know, obviously not happy, actually very very unhappy. Then he anthropomorphizes it. As if the little rat might have a day job like a person.

There might be men out there in the same situation u are. Who knows. I just pray not to feel the need/desire to have a partner. Its so easy to be single when u dont have a strong desire to be with someone.

Agreed. It's just constant hypervigilence being on guard all the time and being paranoid of everyone because the 1 person in the world that you thought you could trust unconditionally has betrayed you. So not only the devastation from the heart brake but they also stole your peace of mind, shed confidence, trust even in yourself to make good decisions about people and circumstances. Feels like your soul has been raped and murdered...and the perpetrator gets to walk with comparatively few consequences

@@brandon6231 , Thats sooooo true. After the betrayal, I feel like I am just dragging myself to live. I have children, and I have to survive for them somehow.

@@brandon6231 yeah that about sums it up. I have a hard time trusting anyone now even my own family at times. And watching him go on with his life with few consequences is so frustrating.

Understandable Julia. We like to think we can discern good from bad and definitely when choosing partners. So to discover you got it seriously wrong - your partner wasn't the person you thought they were - is a shock. And how do you know the next partner will be a better choice? I'm not sure what the solution is to be honest... being suspicious of everyone's motives probably isn't the answer though :-)

Brother, how are you doing now?

Try being strong, if anything at least for your parents or whoever you really look up to

I feel ya, I lost my love to a call of duty buddy from a different country. What a joke

u okay bud?

Its always a guy at their jobs that they cheat with.

“God forgive me”

Stay strong.

♥️

Keep your head up ❤️

@@8lackyj188 Thankyou♥️

@@doflamingodonquixote5776 Thankyou♥️

Don't let someone like that ruin all the amazing experiences that lay ahead of you in life, stay strong and attentive but do not let her malice be a shadow over all the good you have in you, and ahead of you. I hope you find meaning in life still, if not, go out and look for it. All the best brother.

You don’t need to date someone to be complete but don’t stop living because of her. ❤️

Just go and find some new girl, and you're going to forget about your cheating, disloyal piece of shit ex. There's a lot of other women, who are loyal, honest, good hearted, etc. She's not the only girl in the world

Just pray to God my friend and you will heal and move on. My gf cheated on me aswell :(

so sorry this has happened to you .the problem with woman is they will go to any lengths to save there shit and fu k up your character

They never cares for you in the slightest. Not one bit! It's not his lose, since he never valued you in the first place, but at least it's your gain since you're no longer with someone who doesn't value your companionship.

All his lectures and videos correlate, if you're being cheated on and you are too agreeable, you'll be taken for a fool for a very long time. It's time you become a little predatory and a little savage is your actions, time to start disagreeing and being selfish, let the other person know it's not a onside affair and Saying "Sorry" Everytime after making conscious decisions to cheat won't always work.

Same here, it’s been about three years now and I’m just hitting a huge brick wall where I can’t stop thinking about it! I don’t think I can move on from this!

We all experience what we give to others, in this life and the next. He will pay for the damage that he caused.

Stop beating yourself up. You are not a fool. Once in a while a person that cheated will wake up and realize the destruction they caused. They can fix themselves. It can happen. They are a rare breed. The memories and feelings coming back mean you haven't dealt with them yet or completely. Seek help. Don't go through life like that. I know those memories. I had flashbacks. I felt the wind in my hair and the sun on my face and the pain was just as bad as that day when I truly realized what he was doing, what I was seeing. It broke my mind. I did seek help. Found out I had PTSD. For stupid reasons I quit seeing the shrink. Ten years later I'm still trying to get mind mind better. Don't wait to seek help. Don't do what I did. I wasted 10 years of living and now I'm 60. I have a hard time not being angry at myself for letting those years go. Please don't let that happen. Get help!

I'm so sorry that you went through such trauma. Your feelings are valid and you've every right to feel betrayed. Life was awful but you can recover. EMDR is a very powerful way to reprocess emotions and memories. Also Jerry Wise does great RU-vid videos about how to recover from toxic parenting / family systems. Hope this helps

Be brave boy...support your Mom..she needs u more than anything in this world...be strong nd healthy..your future is ahead...Gid bless u always

There are signs. There are always signs. You just blew them off. Something they said or did that seemed out of character. You figured they were having a bad day or you read them wrong. You didn't address it. You didn't ask them about it. That red flag comes up because they let their mask down for a minute. They can't keep it up forever. It will slip. You don't say anything and eventually the mask comes off and you find yourself living in hell. They are good at hiding it. Once you see someone like that you can see ones like them a mile away. Think back to rhe red flags. What were they? What was said or done that made you stop and think huh?

@@tryingbutfailing awesome comment

This is what you need to do and anyone who has delt with one will tell you the same thing. RUN! Get out, whatever it takes. A narcissists enjoys tearing people down, then will give you a crumb of making you feel good about things just to tear you down til there is nothing left of you. You can't fix them. They can become a better person but it's only like .00001% that will meaning its no chance in hell. Run. Get help so you can heal.

Get out! They get worse nit better ever. Make your plan in secret and God bless. You will be better off

Quit blaming yourself. You weren't the cause of the affair unless you are genuinely a shitty person. You aren't because you are blaming yourself. They chose not to stay faithful to you. Everyone has a chance to screw around. People also chose to to be the better person and not do it. It's not your fault. It is the person having the affair that has no morals. They did it. You didn't. Be kind to yourself. Do whatever it takes to heal and leave the past where it belongs, in the past. Maybe finding a counselor, or a good friend that will listen. A friend isn't trained to help you though just talking about it can help. Do everything possible to get better. The longer you wait the longer it will take to get better. I know. I wish I had someone give me this advice. Ten years later in still jacked up. Do do that to yourself. Life is way to short.

By realizing the truth. It was not your fault. There is no excuse for cheating. Ever. Even if there are relationship problems. This is entirely on them. It’s one of the most hurtful and evil things you can do to someone you “love”. Be happy he exposed who he really was. Now you know, and can free yourself from his toxic behavior.

You did nothing wrong at all no matter how you spin it unless you cheated as well. If you didn't stop blaming yourself.

That's right. It was the your perception of the other person that was wrong. Do whatever you can to leave it behind you. Learn from that mistake and live again. They cheated on you. The red flags were there but you blew them off. What they did to you was horrific. I hope you are healing now. They didn't deserve you. You are a much better person than they are.

@@leannmeddings4068 Thank you for saying that..I am healing in a way I never could have imagined! 💝

@@Chris-te7uk what I mean is it was an isolated incident, and things didn’t go all the way it wasn’t a long drawn out relationship type cheating event.

@@Chris-te7uk you don’t think second chances are a thing?

@@elijahrector2168 i gave him a second and a third chance and he kept cheating and cheating. Its up to you. Just know that if they cheat the 2nd time, theyll def do it the 3rd time

only you can answer this.. your gut is right stay or go just go with what ur stomach says

it will never be the same.

Biiissshhh, I know thats right. I stay cheating 👊🤗. I'm just being extra... I just stay on the internet bc 🤷🏻‍♀️, I gotta sort out my ish somehow. Plus, I can leave the internet at any time & it not cloud my judgement. Obsessively staying here is another story tho. Plus, somexs you be learning ish & ish. "somexs broken ppl search for the abuse. Even if somexs that's not what's going on... to clarify everything they've ever known. Bc there's some kind of comfort in always leaving." I'm paraphrasing but something like that. If ppl really knew how I thought... I prob am a bit off. even behind all my dirt tho., I still try remaining decent... bc in my head, I'm still capable of love... but that's prob my version of it & trying to empathize, I can't always think the next would feel the same way.. In short, I guess I like trauma bonding. Which I must not even like to admit that to myself. But it irritates me how ppl r like how do u not see stuff from the beginning? Look at the majority of ppl wasting yrs on ppl tho. U really don't know who the next person is capable of... but like who the hell knows sh from the beginning anyways? In the beginning its always easier to fake something bc the next person knows even less about what you're truly about. Let alone the ppl who spend "forever"/ forever.. w/ each other. Also, seeing his "game" is so cringy. He's such a wigger. Still not sure if that's a bad word. But he's all u ain't never seen to "nigga" like me. & its like😒🤮omg plz stop acting like that, 1. You're not a teen in hs anymore. & 2) wtf, ur personality sure as hell isn't a rarity

Oh my goodness. Im so sorry that has happened. Is there similar personality traits with the women you need to avoid?

Yes.

Why didn't you just leave

@@garysims8881 I did, but I stayed till I got the kids educated in private schools..Then I pursued my dreams. I became a Captain on aircraft flew for company that held the UN and Red Cross contracts worked in war zones and had a ball. But we all react differently and I refused to be judged by others who should just get a life and stop judging until they have walked in yours shoes

Sorry man it doesn't get better with time ot hasn't for me 3 years in. Wife cheated on me with a good friend

Yes basically the betrayed can never win. Only positive option you have is to forgive.

@@leonie3317 I can not forgive that all. I believe it's not even possible to forgive someone. Just a nice invention from the church and self-serving, cause people are considered good people if they "forgive". Damage can not be redone. The only person I can "forgive" is myself...

No nobody likes monsters. Be better

Please don’t, stay true to yourself. It is ugly to be monster. Monsters live a dark life, not worth it.

The world is mean. You better be mean too.

because it seems you geht triggered by this i would say maybe deep down inside it looks different. Why should you justify yourself here. Nobody blame you expect of yourself i guess. (sorry for my Englisch :))