Why Women Need to Talk | Marriage Today | Jimmy Evans 

People feel most connected whe they feel heard. They feel most loved, when they feel connected. If she feels heard she will want commited longterm relationsip and also offer him listening. The same is with customers. If they feel heard, they always come back. They see a genuine interest. Woman feels loved the most, when she feels heard, therefore she is inspired to listen.....because she realizes on the other side of phone isnt just some "artificial robot" If man feels heard he feels loved the most. If their kids feel heard, they will listen because they feel loved and it inspires them to share ideas. "fake nice men" seek short term pleasure, or approval, from customers or wife, without listening. They probably are not bad men but they are most likely addicted to dopamine hit because "short term" pleasure gives much more dopamine and much faster, than "love and intimacy".... .because love and intimacy in sex connection" gives except dopamine also other hormones, like serotonin, oxytocin...there are much more pleasure happy chemicals during genuine sex love and intimacy. Plus genuine loving sex is better, because when woman is in love with a man, she wants to cook for her husband.....so the dopamine is very slow, but from different sources as hobbies, connection sports, so he gets slowly the dopamine, because he isnt "hustling" so much but its actually better, because he gets healthy connection with people. and he may go on picnic with kids so he gets the dopamine slowly not so fast, but from differents sources as playing footbal or playing with kids. "genuine nice men" offer listening and communication and mutual respect. You seek a genuine partner but make sure when they offer genuine listening, or genuine texts that you are able to share a genuine ideas, so they see your true personality, so they react to your genuine personality, not to "a fantasy" self. (the fantasy of some tv show) only then you realize you have connection, because they react to your true personality, and you react to their true personality. Maybe humor is also a good indicator that the person is genuinelly interested, that isnt looking for a perfect answer all the time. So first listen to your thoughts, without judgment. It gives you love and empathy from yourself and to change some habits. because when you dont judge yourself you change habits much more easily. and then you are able to listen other people, so they feel heard, loved and happy and maybe they notice not just their flaws but also the good qualities about themselves. they see that you dont judge their flaws, or that they dont judge your falws because often flaws can be short term thing and people learn new things.

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Serious can be funny, you don't choose to deal with it like that others do♡

If you push it, then it becomes nagging. When you nag, he shuts down completely

Remember the curse given to the woman "your desire will be for your husband

I don't like that statement either, but for different reasons. That's a heavy burden to put on a wife. A wife is not a therapist. If her husband suffers from depression or major trauma in his past, he needs to talk to a professional. Sometimes people need more than talking to move on from something. Also, a husband can become an emotional burden if he thinks that it's his wife's job to listen to him rant/rehearse something over and over until he gets over it.