Obviously we are not family, and despite your warnings we did watch right through to the end. We appreciated your very clear and well explained position and we totally agree with your logic. We were raised as JWs and left 2 years ago in our 60's. We can certainly agree with you about child abuse which we have personally experienced. You called out the JW BS and we applaud you for this. Greetings from New Zealand.
Absolutely Exquisite✨❤ I can identify BIG time. I'm also a survivor of child molestation within the organization and as far as the shunning, this is year 29... I love the way you express yourself and I wish you continued success and blessings. I hope someone in your family responds in a positive way.
Great to hear your backstory Brigette. I was disfellowshipped from the Exclusive Brethren cult many years ago and so much is very similar! I really admire your life confidence. It took me 30 years to gain some of the confidence you have after depression and anxiety had finished messing with me! God bless you for sharing!
You just covered 95% of my feelings exactly. Even your story is similar to mine. Just so well said. Good job with excellent reasoning. Sorry you were chewed up and spat out by the witness machine. I was also. We'll get there, just stay strong. There is a whole community supporting you. You are not alone.
That was really well said. I hope your family or some of them saw this. It's so sad how this religion destroys families and then blames it on those who leave. They got to choose their religion and left them accordingly, but we had no choice and are forced to start our lives over again but without our family and nearly everyone we've ever loved.
Wow! Great exjw story. I have some of the same situations in my life. Im not even DF'd, but have been shunned since 2005 by ALL of my JW family. Lots of love from California!
I feel like I could have made this video. I faded and then after years disassociated myself but the story is similar. My mom only talked to me to because I had children. My other relatives while not JWs didn't talk to me because they believed my mom when she said I was horrible and all the people I had thought were friends thought I was the devil. I only got baptized to prove to my mom I wasn't evil and I did it at the age of 15 but I did it out of coercion and a deep want for love, not knowing the love was never there. I really honestly thank you genuinely for sharing because I don't feel quite as alone as I have in about my story. Please continue to share and talk people need to see that Jehovah's Witness are not a quirky small religion that doesn't harm anyone.
I left the Org 35 years ago. My parents died in there without really knowing my children. I think that WT is doing damage control now because MANY exjw's are speaking up now instead of quietly going away the way they planned it should go. Many exjw's are going to headquarters on Nov. 5th of this year to let the bigwigs know that we are not going to be silent anymore. Losing ones family and everyone you ever knew is very difficult when they turn members out in a world they have been isolated from their whole lives. Thankfully there are many out here that offer encouragement and love for the ones just leaving to help them adjust. WT has also tried to close exjw's YT channels down because they show clips from recent assemblies and from WT's own website. They try to show JW's how the Org lies to them and misleads them Thank you for speaking up. Every voice helps show the current JW's that there are good people outside of the tower! Hugs from Oklahoma!!
I see so much of myself in you. My thought process about how the bible was put together and our right to choose our belief system without constant threats is exactly the same. We have found truth that we can't unknow. All I can say is protect your babies first. Everything else is not relevant as you well know. I just say to people that try to council me, and to shut them up, I respond to them with "So....how's that Armageddon thing going for you..given since the timeline has been updated." Then I dismiss myself, mumbling out loud to myself, something about places to go and people to see. I hope someone from your family sees this. Maybe it will help them. In all honesty, they probably won't listen. Their fear will dictate their ability to truly hear you. Anyway in time YOU will completely heal. I'm not a family member but loved the video.
I recently came across your videos and have just watch a couple of them so far. I just wanted you to know that I find you to be a sincere, articulate and genuine human being! I appreciate your candid and intelligent conversation! Best wishes to you and your family!
Well said and well put. There are so many of us that are in the same place living the same struggle you are in, when it comes to our "believing" family members. My experience and my feeling about the "Truth" are the same as yours, (except I was not sexually abused, my heart goes out to you). It's always encouraging to know I'm not alone in this struggle for civility with my family. Great job, thanks for sharing.
I just found your video. Very well put. As a born in and baptized at 13 myself, I can relate. I was in and out for the past 35 years but am full out now. Be strong. Be well. I look forward to watching your other videos.
Just saw this one of yours. Very powerful! And heartfelt too. Thank you for sharing this and opening up to help all we just how the witnesses really treat you for leaving and then blame you so disgusting. You are a wonderful person keep up the good work.
@Bridette Wonderful message to your JW family. I'm df'd since the year 2000 and shunned by JW family members, except they have no contact with me whatsoever. Okay, at one family funeral they spoke to me, but the next day they were back to shunning. They really have no idea how bad they look to others, but I guess it's their years of religious conditioning. I relate to so much of what you say. ~ sigh
Thanks for this. I'm not your family, but I am the mother of someone who is in and questioning....heartbreaking at times. So just thank you. They need to know that they are not alone....and even though this was meant for your family who is still in, you told your side well.
I feel for you....I've been living the same life...pretty much. I would like to share one thing with you that you spoke about concerning your children. I have been out/disfellowshipped for 26 years. I have a 25 and 22 year old. My family shunned/no contact for 2 years in the beginning. I made the mistake of letting my children get to know them. As they got older my family had less and less to do with them. When they became adults all contact pretty much stopped. My son said he didn't care but my daughter was very upset and couldn't understand what she had done wrong to cause her grandmother to stop talking to her. This happened almost 3 years ago and I haven't spoken to them since. My mother lives 5 minutes from me....she sent me a card saying "I miss you" about 6 months into "my" shunning of her. Really!!! That's the best she had? I wish I had thought it thru like you are doing now.
Ang Van thank you for the perspective. It's a very difficult position to be in, as a parent trying to raise healthy, kind, intelligent children. I want them to know their family... and if and when the worst happens, their father and I will always be here for them to help them understand. That's really all we can do unless we want to treat the JW fam the same way they've treated me, which we already know is wrong. Sigh.
Please don't let them hurt you anymore. I listened til you spoke of your children. So happy you married into a loving real family. I became inactive, later fell in love with my husband and his family. I was totally loved, accepted, treated like the best gift they could wish for. best to you
The best ex jw video I've ever seen. So powerful, so logical, so heartfelt. I hope at least one of your family members who are jws still see this and understands.
I'm sorry to leave so many comments here, but I'm just compelled to add that you've hit the nail squarely on the head on SO many points. You're a THINKING, INTELLIGENT, ANALYTICAL person who needs to 'think outside of the (very small) jw box' and challenge established views; and you're also a female, and that type of person is NOT a congenial/compatible individual for the jw congregation! You're an 'elder's nightmare'! And I say, GOOD FOR YOU!!!
I wish I could speak to my JW family as eloquently as you. I see the pain in your eyes and totally understand the pain, having experienced it myself over the last 30 years
Married to a JW............very much understand your points and agree with pretty much every thing you said. Very well said!!! Good luck with your family "waking up"
Thanks for all the CLEAR details of what is really going on in the organization. You hit the nail on the head with every point that you talked about. I am sorry for your loss of family it hurst,I know even after all these years the emptiness is there.. Family is supposed to stay together through thick and thin. I have not been disfellowshipped but I am treated as disfellowshipped or apostate because my father the elder molested me and when I told nothing happened to him and if you watch my videos you'll see how watch Tower did nothing but send me in circles. Talk about hypocrisy one of my brothers who never got baptized but was brought up in the truth has been married three times . He brought his first two wives into the truth although he never took the truth . He started dating the third wife while married to the second and had a child with her out of wedlock.Both my parents went to his wedding my father the elder went to his wedding.I was going to marry an unbeliever and they would not come to my wedding because he was not a jehovah witness. I hid the family secret of the beatings and molesting me for at least three decades, never turned on my family or my father the sexual abuser but went to clear the air and try to mend and move forward. Of course I got a promise from my father of mending the mistakes he made but he never followed through on them and I have not heard from any of them since I spoke out. Hypocrites!!!! And the watch Tower makes them hypocrites by the policies. I'm sorry to say , do not hold your breath your family will never reach out and take you under their wings as long as they are in the religion . Remember they teach you do not let your Eye feel sorrow for them. they tell you that at Armageddon men , women and children will die and you should not feel sorrow for them . that's exactly how they feel about you. Again I am sorry for the loss of your mother and hopefully you have a great relationship with your mother in law. You don't have to be blood related to make somebody your family. People love you for who you are . Stick with them. Thanks again for sharing and I hope you get some healing..
Thankyou for this video. I am an exmormon, and totally related to you and your bright beautiful communitive self! More power to you. Millions of mormon families are shunning as well. 😖 Such devistation. God isn't found inclosed lealistic, manipulative, oppressive religions. Oh yes, l got to be the one to speak about the sexual abuse as well... Congrats to you!! 🌞
Great job! Thanks for the pointers to those of us who don't know what to say to our family still inside. Just a side question... Did you hear from any of them after this video?
Well done for having the strength to make this video. It must have been very difficult to do. You said so many things that I for one can relate to. Althou I am not disfellowshipped, I left "the truth" years ago after returning to it when I got married. My in-laws have never truly approved of me, as they have always been witnesses and I was not (at least when I met their daughter. I had been born into a witness family, got baptised at 16, realised my mistake and left, only to go back when I got married to a witness). Since stopped going, I have been treated as thou I have been disfellowshipped by the in-laws and many others from the congregation, just because I chose it wasn't for me. I have never made it difficult for my wife or 3 kids who still attend, however as I haven't done anything to officially be removed, they have taken it upon themselves to treat me as if I have been.My parents on the other hand still talk to me and treat me as an equal and would never speak ill of them as they, to this day, support me even thou it is not the path they want me to take. They do however bring up returning every so often, but it isn't the only thing on their agenda, so I suppose I am very lucky in that sense.I do agree with everything you said thou and I wish you all the best for you and your family.(Sorry about the essay haha)
I love you!!! You are so funny, logical and beautiful inside and out! So glad you're not wasting your amazing personality in the confines of that watchtower
Great job. So true about family that was never in or left. Just so disconnected because it WT. You are better person than I am, I am mad at them personally!
Family behaves like family, if someone treats you consistently with unfairness or constantly injects negativity into your life, you have all the right to cut ties. Religion poisons even good people.
Yes, the rank and file believes the elders even though the elders lie all the time. The members never talk to the one who was disfellowshipped or marked. They don't even ask you what happened or how are you doing. All crazy stuff. No feelings at all.
Thanks for sharing this. I'm in the process of writing to my family and want to use some of your excellent points, because sometimes its hard to put how you feel into words. I've been DF 22yrs now although I did try going back in 2010 to try living a lie (big mistake) it lasted 3yrs! Thanks for your help x
Wow, that had to be hard!! I can't imagine ever going back. It was hard enough the first time.. I can't imagine voluntarily living like that again!I'm glad you found my video helpful. :-)
Oh you got it right! When I left , the other kids were doing the same thing, but they either faked a good cry, or was it because they were related to an elder
Even a good cry won't save you these days. They want play by plays of your sexual encounter, even if it was rape. Either way how is that not verbal porn? A French sister, who had been sexually molested over a number of years was asked how wide she opened her legs for her rapists.What the . . . ? I would have dried my tears, walked out and told those damn perverts to go straight to hell.
Apt215 Melissa Brown this was 30 yrs ago. One of the friends that wouldn't talk to me because I was df , had a baby by her first cousin. A boy in the hall married her so she wouldn't raise it herself. My sister has a family member through marriage that is a molester, that is what his daughter told me. She doesn't turn him in, but she to good for me. Humm! She told me the family knows he has a problem.
You posses an excellent vocabulary and captivating ability to communicate a thought. I would love to hear more from you. If you can take the time to refute specific points you could reach many people. Thanks for sharing.
Amen! FANTASTIC video...thanks!..You covered a lot in the small amount of time.Thanks for your brilliant coverage!Yes the meetings..all those long..long...long..meetings...My God as a child I hated those 5 meetings a week...Yep we all need unconditional love. ..not WATCHTOWER love!
Good video Hey mate you should write a letter to your family letting them know that you have made this video and its on youtube and you wish them to view it. I say this because i think the possibility of them watching/coming across this video will probably be non exsistant. Im also thinking that the chances of reading the letter although they may not acknowledge it more then likely they will read it Hope yoir future is a really good one mate love and hugs Steve xxxxx
Its amazing how across the globe the same expressions are used "Where else will you go?", " Think about your children, the end is near" etc. The elders said that to me at my door. Another JW said to me that their child said "There's nothing in the world out there for me". To which I replied " There's forgiveness. " I never saw that person again after that. I also fail at the submissive idea and I was brought up to be an independent woman by my non religious Dad. I ended up labelled a 'modern woman' by my JW mother in law and twice in a Women's refuge. We were given a book called 'Making Your Family Life Happy' in which I was forced to read all about the wife's duty of submission and stereotypes of women who use emotions to get their own way. So no tears allowed or its all your fault. You are loved, respected, forgiven, strong and they are in darkness. Be proud. I still, after 15 or more years since pulling away, never baptized, have a lot of issues and probably PTSD or Religious Trauma Syndrome. The moment I get a whiff of the wifely submission teaching in any church, I am out of there even though I am still Christian myself. I am glad you have unconditional love in your life. My kids have it and I'm here for them in spite of whatever they've done. It's all part of maturing. JW children are under a lot of pressure, with their parents expecting them never to have messed up in the same way they probably did themselves.
Wonderful video. It sums up so many feelings and truths that apply to all of us that have been shunned for years. We get one life and one set of flesh and blood. What a waste, I don't know my brothers or sister. The last words my sister said to me were " if you are not a Jehovah's Witness you are not my brother". I have little grandkids that will grow up in this twisted, demented religion. I just pray that soon it implodes and they may be free of the madness. There seems no escape from the tentacles of madness. You have summed things up so well. Thank you, thank you thank you.
Heartfelt and very well articulated. It is very difficult for non JW people (who have never been in) to understand and accept how it is possible to shun and ostracize family members and cut them out of their lives just because they no longer wish to remain loyal to seven deluded old men in New York but this is the rule rather than the exception. Thank you for shedding light on this.
My daughter saw weird lights walking around in the Kingdom Hall (and some other places). When she was very young. She called them candy canes. They were very real to her. She did not have headaches.
I hope your family sees your video & takes it to heart. Seems that most of us X's have similar stories. Our families have been torn to shreds. I agree with you, at some point, it will be too late to reconcile & our JW families have missed out on so much.. how sad for them! I left the org 25 years ago..my family are virtually strangers to me, my kids & complete strangers to my grandkids. We've made a great life without them, by their choice!! At this point though, I'm not sure I want a relationship with them..I know they would be trying to convert my grandkids & I just can't take that chance. Indoctrination is a sneaky thing! Thanks for the video.. well done! Hugs to you & your family ❣️
From one atheist to another great for you! I was born into the religion called Bible Students, the precursor religion to JWs. Bible Students still exist and I know where you are coming from. You are right about the canon. I went to college too and majored in physics. You would think that if the God of the Bible were real he would have gotten the creative process described in Genesis correct. But creation as described in the Bible is way off of what scientists know as fact. Both my family and my wife’s family were Bible Students so we don’t here much from most of them except a few rebels. My generation was the 4th gen with some grand parents and great grandparents going back to the days of Russell the founder. Good luck to you!
Dear Brigette, you are brave and I can see you have hope your mom will come to senses and accept you as you are. I too have hope someday my daughter will come to senses and accept me for who I am, but we need to move on and live our life to the fullest because we cannot wait for them to get the heart they lost on their way. Maybe we will be surprised one day and that day I will hold my daughter in my arms as if she was never gone, but for now I need to move on and stop searching for her heart to be found. I wish you lots of happiness and beautiful life.
When you said ...the witnesses idea about the world is.........."unequivocally false"....I thought you were going to say "unequivocally fucked up" which it is......pardon my French......YET that is the plain truth! [Sorry for thinking out aloud.......and being very naughty at that].....I was one of the faders, was never df'd or disassociated....just walked out: the very best decision I have ever made. Agreed with so much you said! They can keep it!!!!!!!
After all this time of being out of the Jehovah's Witless borg it still feels strange and wonderful: As an atheist I'm not in full agreement with the beliefs of most members of my Unitarian Universalist church, and yet that's irrelevant in our relationships, in working together. I love it!!
Your video appeared after 5 years Which I saw 4 years ago! Wow! Your information hasn’t changed!😂 No new light!!! 😂 Disfellowshipping Ostracizing The end is still not here after 5 years Of this video😂 You helped me then when I woke up !! So thank you! Hope you and your family are doing fine today in 2023!! Waiting for a new video from you just to say hi! Greetings from Puerto Rico!
I just stumbled across your channel and absolutely related to your story. I am curious to know if any in your family saw this and changed their behavior accordingly. Thank you for sharing your story!
No, I don't think any of them have seen it. If they have, there has certainly been no change in behavior as a result. I've resigned myself to their absence at this point, and realized that it may not be an entirely bad thing. :-) Thanks for watching!
Brigette Pfister I know that being shunned by family is damaging. I may be next. I was never baptized, but I hear that they are encouraging members to shun even those that were never baptized. They are hemorrhaging members, and they are trying to put a bandaid on an arterial bleed by clamping down on shunning and essentially banning outside materials (like RU-vid). The exJW community is huge and I hope you have found support. Your strength will help others too. You are so right about the need for education and therapy. Again, thank you for sharing your story!
Well spoken: you've said everything I've been saying but you articulated it way better then I ever could. Well done. I figured this cult out at the age of 13. I've got a wopper story too. Some day I'll share. Enjoy hope it works out for you. TTYL. :)
Hi Brigette. What comes across in your video is sincerity of heart. You are right about this destructive religion that decimates families. You were pressured into baptism at 12. How on earth does a young girl know what the consequences will be in the future. You would never have understood the implications of that decision. I could see the pain and hurt in your video. Clearly you have been treated like a pariah by your JW relatives. Emotionally, that must have been incredibly painful. It's no wonder so many individuals suffer from depression if in a similar position. I never knew anything about the shunning policy when I got baptized at 23. Like many I am stuck in limbo because of family and friends. It takes a really strong person like yourself to move on and yet the emotional impact can still hit hard. The Watchtower organisation needs to be exposed for the harm it is causing people. Videos like yours are showing the true face of this high control group. I hope your relatives see this video and waken up. I hope you rebuild your relationship with your mother and that she will do so unconditionally. Best wishes to you and your family. JM
Wow! This is the best message to jw family members I have heard. You articulated your thoughts perfectly, in a no nonsense, let's get real, kind of way, that surely would have to reach them on some level. ...or appeal to their common sense or sanity (if they have any left!) Awesome job. This is the first video of yours I've seen so I'm subbing now!
