I'm sure you're probably sick of hearing this from internet strangers, but you are an above-average, very attractive young lady. I can't think of any guy who would refuse you for "being ugly". 90% of boys your age would be super thrilled to have a girlfriend who looked like you. It's your mental health that's holding you back, not your looks. And that's a good thing, because you can't change your face (easily) but you can change your mental health. If you keep working on your mental health, everything else will fall into place. Keep up the hard work!
When i was 12 i was hanging out with a guy, and he told me we could meet up again. It was an afterschool program. When i returned there were more girls, obviously gorgeous girls, very tan and blonde. 😂 he just stopped talking to me and followed them around for months. I learned about not always being considered beautiful. Most of my romantic relationships in highschool were full of neglect and never lasted long. My relationships in college were full of lies and cheating. I dont think I've ever been loved by a romantic partner. Then you realize that your family expected you to be married by graduation and you couldnt get a partner who wont cheat 😂 life is not kind, because people arent. But there are so many of us who are. There will always be something that makes us less valued in dating. Age, race, location, income, and mental health. All that matters is falling in love with yourself
I feel you 100%. I've had 2 relationships but I have never felt "in love" and I don't know why. I just turned 21 years old and feel like I will never understand nor feel what true love is. I wouldn't even know where to start when having an interest in someone. Oh, and you are a very beautiful woman! You're not ugly at all :)
@@RichardsGaySon The thing is. She is attractive. Picture this young lady with a party dress hair done and full make up out in the town. Loads of fellas would be willing to date her.
Girl, I feel you on this one. I so desperately want to be in a relationship with someone who truly loves me and is attracted to me. Every relationship I’ve either been cheated on or they settled for me. It really sucks. I’m about to turn 26 in about a week and feel like I’m missing out on my prime dating years. Hope we both are able to have better luck at dating ❤
@@CrookedLadyrelatable I hope you one day end up finding your special person I really hope that you do so I guess in the mean time I’ll be rooting for you
i understand how you feel, especially as someone whos almost 23 and still hasnt had their first relationship. i used to have the same thoughts as you. i also felt like i wouldnt ever find anyone either and it made me feel insanely lonely. the one thing that helped me a lot is changing my mindset around the whole idea of "finding the right person", and think of it as something thats not really important. this past year, i learned that the most important thing is to take care and nurture yourself. maybe neither of us will find someone who will love us and share their life with us, but ive realized that i can 100% guarantee that the one person that WILL stay in my life forever is myself. because of that, i want to take care of that person, who is me, and i want to treat them with the utmost love. i will always have my back, and im always there for myself. i know all of my flaws , and i still love myself with them. im going to live with and spend every second of myself for the rest of my life, why did i treat myself so cruelly for traits i cant control? why not just learn to coexist with my own flaws and improve on things that i can control? having this perspective really does help with accepting the lack of romantic relationships, as well as my insecurities, and shifting the mindset around it. its a whole lot easier said than done, im wishing you the best of luck on your journey and im rooting for you!!
@@CrookedLady I do not want to sound mean but you should visit a psychologist to help you with this. You are 100% not ugly. Definitely above avarage looking with some nice feminime traits. Everyone is saying that and we are not saying it just to be supportive. I hope that you relize this one day and start being more happy with yourself. I know it's hard but I believe you.
I have this same problem, I can't get close with people. I was severely sexually abused as a child by a family member for years and I also grew up being called ugly by my school peers (and into my adulthood). It made me a shut in. I've never had a boyfriend, and I'm alone at 30.
I can sooo relate to this video. Back when I was your age, I was in the exact same situation as you (right down to the "tmi details"), and I had the same concerns/worries about my future. Don't stress over your looks. I've also been very self-conscious of my appearance, but it doesn't really matter. A prospective partner cares very little about how you look (which you have nothing to worry about anyway), and cares everything about your self-confidence. You will find a partner when you're not even looking. Keep your head up. Good luck.
Wrinkles on your face are normal. They show only when you make facial expressions so if you wanted to get rid of them completely you'd have to paralyze your face with botox. Also try not to think too much about dating because even if you do find someone it doesn't necessarily mean it will last forever.
i totally understand how you feel. something I've learned is that as you heal it just comes easier. knowing the root to your problems and acknowledging them is an amazing start and when you're finally ready to give and receive love I have absolutely zero doubt in my mind that you'll be capable of finding an amazing person who will love and cherish you
Hi, i just wanted to say that i found this quite relatable. I'm a 22 y/o guy and i'm really insecure about my body as well. My problem is my height (or the lack of). Just like you, i want to go out and socialize, find a gf, but the thought of being ridiculed or turned down or being the smallest in the room really prevents me from doing that, so i stay isolated. I too find it hard to imagine someone loving me, i know statistically it isn't impossible, but my mind really can't picture it. Thank you for making these videos, having someone to relate to really means a lot. I know what kind of mental torture you are going through and i wish you get better. And i agree with what other people said, you are a nice looking girl, try to internalize that.
Thank you for opening up to us about this because its hard to love when you haven't experienced before on a deep and intentional level. I am the same age as you and worry about the same thing sometimes. You are so beautiful mija, you're a diamond in the rough, we are all imperfect and that's okay. There a plethora of experiences that you have yet to experience and it will all culminate into you finding your individuality and self love. Time is in your favor love, do not forget your biggest blessing - yourself❤. Oh and please show us your art sometime!
While being wanted/desired feels great, physical attractiveness is just one aspect of romantic relationships also. Don't forget how cool you are as well, like your DnD figures, or your cool art, this channel, there is so much more to you that is worthy of love beyond your physical self.
The best thing you can do is to be true to yourself and continue to do the things you truly want to do in life not become something your not, it might not feel great now, but trust me it pays off in the end its like this one saying, "you can be the juiciest peach and still not be picked so you might as well be who you really are regardless what others want from you" also i dont know what your seeing but your are really pretty and you have such a cool personality wish i knew more ppl like you
And theres nothing wrong with being a women and holding off on losing your V-Card > Take your time and give yourself to a man who truly loves, cares, & values you as his friend, lover, & girlfriend.
I can’t express just how much I relate to this. It’s not my place to give advice so I won’t. But I do hope you continue to get up everyday and fight. I can tell that you are trying even if it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere. My hope for you is that you never give up. You are deserving of love both from yourself and others simply because you exist. You deserve love because you are you.
Maybe it's not 100% comparable, but given you have such consistent viewership, it's untrue that people don't want to spend time with you. I also want to add that I'm in a similar boat. My past has given me severe anxiety around girls that I like, so I've never been in a relationship and likely won't be until I find someone that's blind. So yeah, it's not that you'll be alone forever, but the demographic of people you can be with is just smaller. Also a tight friend group is really important for not putting pressure on yourself to be in a relationship.
I think your mental health is wayyy more important than anything else rn! Yes a loving fulfilling relationship would be great but it definitely wouldn’t fix everything. Your brain won’t let you see how beautiful you are inside and out. You seem to be suffering unimaginably from anxiety and control and I really feel for you, absolutely no one in the world deserves that! You are worthy of love and you deserve to get help! From my experience talking to a professional about trauma has helped me a lot. There’s nothing worse than trying to rationalise why you feel so bad only to believe that you’re the issue. You definitely aren’t the problem here! It’s ok not to be ok but don’t believe that nasty voice in your head!
if I see you walking down the street I would right away say "damn she's cute" and would probably walk off, that's the problem I have, since watching your videos it makes me so happy to see that I'm not the only person in the world facing tremendous issues, I'm facing extreme loneliness, self esteem issues and social anxiety, and I just DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO START RELATIONSHIPS!!! I'm starting to take the first steps to change myself, been doing a lot of exercise, been trying to change my apperance and been trying to talk to people, but here is where I just can't progress, I'm still looking at myself as an ugly person, and that is stopping me from progressing with all the other things, so in my case I first gotta take care of my ugliness, but I'm also a person who procastinates pretty much anything I do, meaning that it's been already 6 years without any big change, I'm 23 now and I don't wanna live anymroe, the challenge is too hard and I've lost so much time I will never recover, I wanna end it all, but at the same time I always hate on people who just "end it" I can't believe the only people I've found with issues all speak english and live in america or the uk or maybe europe, I haven't found anyone with my issues here in my country Chile. I'm facing my demons alone, for someone else might just be a challenge, for me and my dumbass brain is an impossible task. Sometimes I think about doing RU-vid videos too so I can show my pain to the rest of the world :(
im 27 and a virgin too And i dont connect well with others I got the issue you have But lets accept it and look for positive change Cus thats all we can do
It is different between people, how deep connections with others they want and need. Like you, I also want deeper connection, and being an introverted guy, I was able to approach that part of my life after 25. The idea and fear of being turned down, for me like someone saying "you are not enough for me", was paralyzing. I do understand the emotions you live with, and that sometimes they just pop up, causing these feelings of sadness and hopelessness, because we want that connection and being with someone so badly inside ourselves.
In my opinion, dating is very very difficult especially when you don't realize the people whom you dated treated you so bad like trash just because of your looks it's hard, I used to wonder why that happened to me but then I saw it happening to good looking women too, and I was stunned sometimes I can't figure men out so I don't even try anymore it makes my head hurt 🤕
You are worthy of love, you seem very compassionate, and you ARE beautiful. I know it's hard, but think of the things you appreciate about yourself for every time you do a self check about your appearance. The sad truth is that we all get old and ugly at some point. In a world of natural chaos and the complexity of life/survival, looks are infinity less important when it comes to companionship and love. I also have body image issues, but I try to remember that I am not my visual flaws just like I am not my advantages, we are more complex than that. Like you said, you are only 23, you are not even in your "prime" years of dating. Try to release some of your anxiety about life and let it flow by. You catastrophize a lot; what if this happens in the future, what if that. The fact is that it has not happened and the present moment is what matters.The grass, the tress, your comfort, the people around you, that is what presence is. If you feel that you do not have people around you, first open yourself up to the possibility of being rejected or looking like a fool when trying to ask someone to hang out or to play a game or something. There is a funny joke by this comedian named Hanz Kim - he says I am excited to meet my soulmate but it has not happened yet, I think she should go out more. Its a funny proverb because it calls into question how hard are we trying to connect with others. There is so much life (happiness, sadness, love, pain) just waiting for you to come by and experience it, but you have to be courageous enough to take that chance.
OMG I can so relate with that style of upbringing and damage it it can do. I too have all kinds of doubts about my self worth. Trust my when I tell you are desirable. You're lovable in so many ways. You're not stupid for having fears and doubts. However we all need to recognize that thoughts are completely subjective, not objective, views of reality. The mind concocts all kinds of biased, one-sided and distorted false facts to back up those thoughts and make us believe they are reality. Believe in what will serve your path moving forward and dismiss the rest.
You are so lovely and gorgeous. I hope you can be surrounded by safe healthy patient and loving friends and “chosen family”. You are WORTHY. Thanks for sharing your voice ❤
You’re beautiful believe it or not and I wish I was close to you geographically cause I would 100% ask you out on a date. Your videos really got to me cause I’m in a similar situation. I wish you all the best and thank you for your bravery uploading these you’re one of a kind and isn’t that what’s important in this life. All the best from Ireland 🍀
if you want partnership there are definitely people out there who would work on your timeframe. if it takes years, so what! it will take years for you to trust them, just like it would take years for them to trust you. guys care about fidelity more than anything. some guys may come on a little strong and offer marriage pretty quick. don't be afraid! but they also should know where you're at. you've got this!
i believe that you will find some one you just have to let them in and give them a chance but it does take a lot to trust someone to do that especially when you have commitment issues and trust issues your anxiety and depression is not making your life any easier it takes time time they say heals everything but i will say this you are not ugly you are a very young attractive lady with a big loving hart and all you want is to be loved i think most of us in here all need love in our lives at some point i hope you find that special someone
Wish I could give you a hug. It hurts to see what you're going through. I see things differently than most and say what I mean without hiding the negative or the positive, i.e. a free-speaking and open-minded person. No, you're not ugly. I think you seem like a normal girl, actually pretty and I don't care what others think. There is far too much focus nowadays on being perfect.
You've got deep wounding that needs healing, sweetheart. Healing is part of growing up. These stories you tell yourself are only stories and we all have them. I think it's brave of you to confront these issues so openly. You will find the love you want when you love yourself. Your wounding would make you a huge target for the wrong people rn. Don't date until you love yourself. You've gotta change your story.
I feel You I'm 23 too haven't had any type of "relationship" with a girl since 2019 I lost touch with everyone I knew cause It was just easier to be alone but now It's just that much harder too meet and get to know people and even when i try I end up Fucking up some way or the other.
If you don't love/like yourself, then other people will have a difficult time to love you too. Not because you are a bad person, but because it is hard to show affection towards someone who doesnt feel they deserve it.
Not quite. There are people that don't mind and even want to help (which increases their attraction). However, as someone who's been there and done that for ~7 years over the span of 16 years, I can state that it's a dangerous proposal. People who see themselves in a deeply negative light are far more likely to self-sabotage any relationship, especially a loving one, because at their core, they won't believe they deserve said love and will, with time, likely reject it reflexively. That said, there is hope, as with enough persistence this can be overcome. However, I will caution anyone wanting to engage in such a relationship that you're likely going to be hurt, repeatedly - even if she's the sweetest of girls. Furthermore, if this deep issue is overcome, her worldview might radically shift in response to her new positive self-image and that might mean her desires and what she wants out of life can also change - including her desire to be with you. It can be greatly fulfilling, though. Just be sure not to neglect yourself in the process.
I am sorry to hear you have believed these things you tell yourself. It can help that when a thought like "no one will ever love me pops up", for you to identify it and replace it with: not everyone likes me, but possibly someone does. At the end of the day, its more realistic to think about it in that way, we are human and you as well as others don't like everything or everyone. But allow some space in your mind for the possibility of others even if a few to like or love you. This is a very small step but it brings you closer to being at peace with yourself. Take care.
I completely understand you and I come from a very similar family situation. If you ever need someone to talk to I’m here. Reach out to me, I’m here for you ❤️
From the outside, looking in, you’ll do perfectly fine in the dating market, everyone on the outside, just sees the pretty girl next door when they see you, but only you are seeing that version of you that makes you doubt yourself. You will be fine though. In terms of dating you just need someone who is patient and will make you feel comfortable and a lot of the other problems will melt away
If i dated you are someone i would love to you. You are a valid loveable woman you are valuable person i never met you but i trust you. You are always a sweet woman if someone was like that to you it is their loss you are beautiful inside and out if you are weird it is part of what makes you a beautiful person
Haha, you're me, but as a woman! I'm on the same journey. Just practice mindfulness and stop feeding the negative thoughts. We are always our own worst critics, and negative self talk is never true. We just hold ourselves to an impossibly high standard. I catch girls glancing at me often, but I have no experience in dating and anxiously shut them down quickly because I'm afraid I'm not "normal" or "manly" enough for them, and I don't know what is expected of me in a relationship. I also just suck at eye contact, so maybe I seem odd lol. I also wear the dorkiest glasses to scare them all away haha! That's my next step in my journey I guess... Remember that no two relationships are the same. Everyone is different and there is no blueprint for what makes a good relationship. But you will have to make that leap someday. I know it's going to happen for me soon when a woman decides to breech my iron walls I have built around myself, I'm just afraid of changing the life I have worked so hard to cultivate.
Something I've recently taken to heart is that everyone deserves to be loved. One thing that is really important to learn is to stop apologizing for every little thing since that reinforces the idea that you don't deserve to even exist, you do btw. But yeah, you don't need to apologize for stuff I wouldn't have ever noticed if you didn't mention it, like "wrinkles" on your face or dirty fingernails. Try your best to fight off the intrusive thoughts and replace them with good thoughts. I was randomly recommended one of your older videos by RU-vid, and my initial impression of you was a positive one. I think it's attractive that you're brave enough to upload videos despite how you may feel. I know I'd never be able to do that. There are things other than appearance that can make someone attractive, so give yourself some credit. Don't know if you'll read this, but I just wanna throw in that I relate to some stuff you've gone through. Poor family experiences and inability to connect with people. To keep it short, I'm cheering you on and wishing you the best.
Hang in there, girlfriend. The time you will find your true love is when you aren't even looking or expecting it, as cliche as that may sound. Just keep being yourself and try and meet nice people in person through group activities, through friends, or music & other artistic type of events where you know you will share something in common. That way you never run out of stimulating things to talk about as you get to know one another. You will find the love of your life in due time, girl. Promise✨
I am same as you are, when people see me long way they think my face looks great but when you look very closer you'll see how bad is my looks I thought I first heard my boy friend will except me the way I look but no he just used me for granted ,so now I feel like I'm lost where to start over.
Bro,knowing dam well could never change your mind on how you view yourself but there's nothing wrong about you,i to feel the exact same way,big reason i stopped dating is because i just don't feel like im worthy of having any taste of intimacy,also dating apps a a massive waste and it won't get you no where,point is i can really relate to the majority of what you say
Have you seen Myra West's video titled something like "single at 23, why i'll probably be single for life"? She then found someone a year later & has been in a relationship for a year. she's now 25. All this doom & gloom & it literally happened the next year. it can still happen. Plenty of time. Still young.
Most people aren't smart enough to address their issues before they date. When you like someone, is it because they seem perfect? Probably not. I don't see the beauty in others until I see their flaws. That's beauty. Vulnerability and strength of character, honesty, and quirks that make us human are whats attractive to me and most others. If you think about it, you'll find that's probably true to you. Facial symmetry and lack of intimacy issues doesn't make someone a good partner or person. Perfection is only an illusion.
Being ugly on the outside is not so bad. As long as you're beautiful on the inside, you're a kind and loving person, people will love you back. The good people will at least. As you mature, you'll realize serious people's relationships are based on mutual support and respect, love and caring. They are not based on superficial subjective beauty standards. Your partner won't care what you look like in the bedroom, but how you react and moan approvingly at their caresses and how you give them pleasure back. They will also care about how you support them in the rest of your life together. External beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it is fleeting. Personality and feelings matters a lot more.
What i dont get is how a person who thinks they are ugly even has the courage to be on yt where millions of people get to watch you and criticize you. I would think someone who is really disgusted about themselves would not even be seen on a photo or worse a camera.
I'm from North Macedonia your video shows randomly and i decided to watch it because im 26 and never had a girlfriend ever my point is that i was never shy or afraid to talk to a girl but still alone. Some people are very hard to understand i had many girls gave me that look you dont know if she finds you attractive or not the world is a crazy place.
Extremely relatable. Dating is an excruciating ritual, especially if you have intimacy issues. It's nice to have companionship, but it's also a slog getting there, especially through apps. BUT HOW DARE YOUR NAILS BE DIRTY!!!
Yeah i get intrusive thoughts that cause me pain too i just let them exist. Try not to add extra thoughts to the initial intrusive thoughts. Itll go away on its own. Example you get a thought about a guy confessing their love for you and they ghost you. Dont ruminate about the thought just let it happen.
I’m 19 still single and I want someone that love me for who I am and accept who I am and I really want someone to be in my life but I’m just working on myself and becoming the best version of myself and I’m about to be in my 20s and dating can be difficult nowdays
If your still in high school expect that type of behavior from people, you have your life way ahead of you, don't give up this early, also learn how to open up, being a total introvert will shut you out of everything, once you find that person that wants to love you for who you are love them back with everything your worth, you won't be this way forever, when you find the right person you'll see the change you've been waiting for your whole life 😊
Hope you read this at some point. Always remember that there are people who are going through or have been through the exact same thing as you. I had really bad acne growing up, it totally scarred my face up to the point that people who knew me would avoid me and cross the street - no cap. People can't believe it to look at me now. It took YEARS for my skin to heal. Coming from a non communicative single parent family and being the runt of the litter didn't help things either. I had no one to talk to and just my own world for company. You need people with an outside perspective to keep you grounded. Listen to them. You can see from the comments that a lot of people disagree with your assessment of yourself. One of the BIG things that makes someone attractive is their personality. No one like a beautiful person with an ugly personality. Not sure if you're Gay/Straight but from a male perspective, I think you have a BETTER chance in the dating market over a lot of girls specifically because you don't think a lot of yourself and you have a cute face and nice lips. To boost your confidence, use a bit of make up, work on your wardrobe and work out in the gym (but DO NOT bulk up your arms or trap muscles🙄). That'll get you attention alright, plus it will boost your self confidence. Don't forget that you have to let people love you and give them the chance to!
You are not ugly. I watch tons of crime videos, the criminals I watch are ugly. And psychical appearance is one thing, but it's also the way You think of Yourself. Because the way You see Yourself is the way others are going to see You. That being said, You're not ugly.
I’m 24 , autistic , have severe BDD , virgin with skin issues I hate my face so fkn bad it hurts to look in the mirror. I empathise with this intimacy problem so bad . My mother is a neglectful alcoholic Narcissist, my dad couldn’t be there all the time due to work so I really struggle to allow people in .
First of all I wanna say that wanting to be loved is normal. And the way our culture is eroding community and cutting down that into little family units is in general a very insane idea judging by how much weight that puts on just one person instead of the usual larger groups of 10 to 20 ppl tribes humanity used to live in all throughout history. So don‘t ever feel like this pain isn‘t valid. Now when it comes to self worth issues and such, i do wanna give you this as someone who used to be a chronic self hater and harmer and became very secure in myself later on in life. The key to that is many things. But one of the most important parts is to look into the self. Our culture teaches us to hate ourselves. So first of all that is nothing to be blaming yourself for because it is hard not to. Especially as a woman. But that also at the same tome raises the part that tells us clearly that it is not good for us or healthy. And most know this ofc. But how do we get out of that? Well, that‘s the hard part as we all know. But first things first i‘d say comes mindset. And realizing that the idea that it is impossible to like or love yourself is part of it. It‘s part of the self hate. Not rational thought. And that‘s hard to accept at least in my experience it was. Second is then how do we change it? That‘s tricky as we established earlier. But there is different parts to this too. One is the self and the mind, Second is the body, And third is the experience. Now to start this in that order, to heal the mind of the self abuse as i call it, we cannot just see the evil voice as a blob or all aspects of us as just this current us. There is a original child in us that was taught a lot of things good and bad. And what we do when we start to self hate, is not only harm the current us, but also the inner child as well. But we don‘t picture it. But if we do picture our bruised and unloved inner child, we start to see the truth of it all. That is quite sad. Because for that inner child there is only is. Including the self hater. And so we have to look at that inner child, and make the active choice to change circumstances in ourselves not just for us but also our child self. Think about what you‘d say to your child self. Would you apologize to them? Would you be mad at them? Would you pity them? Or would you say nothing? Any of these are valid ofc. Emotions are tough. But whatever it is, you have to end it with an apology to that child you did hurt with the self abuse and hug your child self in your minds eye. Because you owe it to the inner child. And it can be healing. You can repeat that occasionally as well wich is always a good thing. Stuff like that. Second the body, this is as we know a tricky thing. But also important. Why do we hate it? And what does it do for us to hate it? That are things we need to ask. Why do i hate my body? What did it do wrong? Does it deserve it? Does it do anything good to hate it? Maybe u can look in the mirror and try to ask this. And also as you begin to degrade yourself catch it, and ask yourself why am i doing this? Call it out. U can tell yourself stuff like: „wow. That‘s really cruel.“ or „my god. That is totally out of line!“ it might sound silly at first. But it also starts with talking back. Your inner hater has no one that‘s talking back to it. But you‘re still the boss of this body. You can choke the voice quiet as you notice the self degredation and also call it out for what it is. Maybe also say how it made you feel to yourself. Ask yourself in the mirror „why can‘t we just get along and be healthy?“ that‘s some stuff that helped me. We are afraid of the mirror because it forces us to be aware of ourselves. And when we self hate we are also aware of how much we suffer from this. And how vulnerable we are to it. So fighting that at the „crime scene“ when you‘re ready for it emotionally at your own accord is crucial. And with practice it can help. It won‘t fix things in a day, but it helps if you take it seriously. Oh and also this is a bit unrelated but one of my favorite songs is called „parabola“ by the band tool. It has this awesome lyric in it that goes like this: „this body, holding me, reminds me that I am not alone. This body, makes me feel, eternal all this pain is an illusion.“ wich for me has become kind of a mantra/meditation. And i do wanna say that the pain line can be invalidating if you have pain issues like i do. That‘s why i always kinda interpret that as the pain of social pressure and not being one with the self is an illusion. Aka a mantra to push away that what divides you and your body basically. I do recommend listening to it tbh. It‘s awesome musically speaking and the buildup and climax of the song are amazing! Lastly, i‘ll keep that a bit short since this comment is so long already but for community or environment, it‘s tricky but my usual approach is to say that we need to learn to lock out those that feed the inner hater in us and let in only those that treat us well. If ppl make you feel worse about yourself, self love is also dropping them. Use the block button if possible. Or distance yourself. It‘s hard but worth it. And learning to only let good people in also saves you from ppl that will make your self worth worse over time. So that‘s it for community. But mostly I do think it starts with us internally. We are just hurt. We aren‘t broken or wrong. We are just hurt. But we deserve to get better and also be better. We are eternal as long as we keep fighting for ourselves. And not giving up on yourself is always winning. For as we fight until maybe one day, all this pain and suffering will truely be only a distant illusion.
i talked to a 45 year old who had a rough time in his twenties, and he said that the quarter/mid life crisis often happens once in a person's life, if u feel behind, you arent cuz all the people you are comparing yourself are going to crash.
Hi, I hope you see this. To get over your fear of intimacy, you need to date. Communicate with your partner and let them know how you feel about yourself and intimacy- if they’re right for you, they’ll be there for you and help you grow. I used to think the same thing about myself being a statue of a person incapable of being in a relationship, but not being in one doesn’t allow you to grow as a person and better share your love for someone. It’s hard to find someone good but youll never find them if you dont try.
Hi, I have watched a few of your videos. I can relate to the way you feel to a degree, I have alot of Childhood drama with my parents and being mistreated by kids. At times, I have felt that God is the only one who loves me. But I do want to say that in my honest opinion, I dont find you ugly at all. I also don't think you look old either, I think you look like you'd be in early 20's. I am sorry that People have mistreated you to the point of making you develop low self esteem. I know what that is like, and noone deserves that. But it is certainly not your fault. You deserve to be loved as much as anyone woman on this planet. And there is no shame in being a virgin. I am too. Part of the reason I am is because I'm a christian but it is also true that Girls don't like me very much. But I think any guy would be lucky to have you:) God Bless
I’d Date you Frs and also nah your not crazy for thinking that cause I be feeling and thinking the same way about myself that if I’ll ever find love but best thing to do is focus on yourself to become the best version of yourself cause I get it worrying about the future and what people think if your attractive and stuff can be a lot to think about buts that’s why it’s important to take care of yourself in every way like mentally/Health cause appearance will be something that comes along if you just take care yourself physically as well since that’s important as well besides mental health but I believe you will find someone at some point ❤
I think you need to start investing in yourself. Spend money on making yourself more confident and less insecure. This absolutely doesn’t mean plastic surgery, but by those foods that make you feel super good, not just microwaved stuff. Get those clothes that make you feel good. A gym membership is a great place to start too. I have a revlon brush that’s cheap and gives your hair a blowout look. I know one of your videos you said you don’t like makeup, but maybe just try some. My confidence def changes depending on what I’m wearing/ my makeup and I think everyone’s does.
Have you considered studying psychology? I read that problems with intimacy often are caused by a toxic relationship with your mother or father. Hence the term "mommy issues". I was often blaming my being single on my appearance, but every time I had a crush, I ran away. I've never even asked anyone out, because I am ultimately afraid of getting hurt. I believe that when we love ourselves, we can endure the pain of being hurt by love.
As a 26m I definitely find you attractive for your looks and personality. I struggle too with the dating world especially when working takes all my energy, not that it matters when you're socially inept and barely can hold a conversation. I think you're too hard on yourself regarding your looks and like plenty of others said in the comments, there are people that would date you, myself included.
@@ashley010788because late 20s is really the cut off for certain things. You can date your entire life, if you want. But if you want marriage and having kids, 35 is old. I think some advice like waiting to look for a husband or wife is difficult.
@@CrookedLady true, but relevance of some things in it and ability to invest your time and energy in them effectively (!) is often very short-lived - and dating, relationships or any sort of active socializing outside of your already established social circle are among those things. This is why I reached the same conclusion as barely 23 y.o. male despite having to sacrifice my dreams, desires and feelings on those matters - truth is just more important for me no matter how brutal it is. (Just in case you are interested to hear someone else's perspective on these matters)
You have a nice face, long beutiful hair, a nice smile with straight teeth. This is just all in your head. The only way to stop being afraid is to face your fear. Otherwise it will take over you.
Do you think maybe the body dysmorphia and perfectionism are both defense mechanisms? You are afraid of being hurt, so maybe part of you feels like attacking yourself will somehow protect you from being harmed by others? Does that make sense? The message I get through all of your videos is that you don't hate yourself, and you know deep down that you ARE worthy of love and you CAN be happy and lead a fulfilling life, [mostly] free from anxiety and self-doubt; you are just frustrated by struggling to find your way there. There is no perfect vision that you have to live up to. Don't scare yourself with all the things you "should" be, "should" have experienced, "should" be confident about, "should" be comfortable with. You cannot plan your life out in your head, you can only steer a little this way or that, but if you keep your eyes on the road then you'll find somewhere you want to be. Why do you think idiots like me try to give you advice and relate to you? Because we're weird too! So, please don't think you are a charity case or something.
You're a beautiful looking young lassie, it's the negative thoughts that are trying to trick you. Next time you have those negative thoughts, sit and think hard about it, question those thats, fight with them. Sit and question the validity of them. If there is no solid proof, and I mean actual evidence behind anything, then you can reject those thoughts. Remember, it's all about what you allow your mind to think and you have the power to overturn those thoughts. Those in the comments section are not telling you this stuff for nothing just to make you feel better about yourself, I know I don't, I state it like others do because that is genuinely what we see. And if people avoid because of a mental health issue, that's their loss, you're a wonderful looking lassie who seems to have wonderful interests in art, etc.
Your me but I’m so much younger I’m only 12 going through all of this people don’t bully me at school but they also don’t show me any respect allways side eyeing me and giving me dirty looks and doing things that I can’t really tell a teacher about but knowing that it’s disrespectfull on purpose so I can’t tell on them it’s hurting my self esteem I’ve tried killing myself and I’ve cried all day for a whole weekend I literally feel like a whole of emptiness and people just don’t understand and they feed off of my exaustedness and use that to make me even worse I feel so dramatic but it’s so serious and I also wear bandaids over my nose because I’m insecure if it and people bully me if it all the time
I'm looking at you and thinking 🤔.... God, I wish I were 15 years younger! I'm going to be completely honest with you girl. Stop criticizing yourself! You're kinda funny and honest. Kind and gentle personality. Your looks are normal girl.... Your eyes are beautiful. Your mouth is perfect. Your nose is so cute! You're not overweight or disfigured in any way... You're hair is gorgeous.. If you tone up your body and take care of yourself, you're going to mature into a real beauty! I wish that I could meet someone just like you..
It's likely that nobody else notices the things about your appearance that bother you. It's like when people cooped up together start only noticing the things that bug them about the other person, because they're taking the good stuff for granted. You're blind to what's good about yourself because it doesn't stand out to you, you're looking straight past it, but it IS still there. Everyone naturally looks with what's wrong with something because that's the thing that needs attention and fixing giving you an unbalanced perspective. This is all to say, I don't think you need worry about being alone. As for you family lacking closeness and affection, that doesn't doom you, you can/will change and grow with experience, think of it as a skill you develop with practice and you probably be suprised how quickly.
You are young and you focus on things like outward appearance too much. You are not ugly! Ugliness is within, a bad character. The world gives us a false sense of what is truly beautiful. I see a girl that needs love. A friend who will treat her as a lady. Cheer up, this depression about nerves will pass.❤️
I'm a 27 years old french guy and I want to see more women like you in real life You are not ugly you are a cute girl. Nothing is wrong with you, your problem is just your self confidence. I really want to date a girl like you
When I was at school you'd be one of the pretty girls in the class You are so intelligent and have a lovely personality A lot of guys would love to be your boyfriend
