The Worst Yelp Reviews I've Ever Seen 

Welcome back!!!

Jarvis Johnson Yasss

Jarvis Johnson oh really??? I didn’t know

Hi

Oh thank god

7.8/10 too much water

Ok ign

Pokemon reference yooo

“Too deep & mysterious. Got weird vibes.”

Too salty. I just wanted a drink of water and almost died.

No way I’m letting your daughter ride me.

Supermoose but can your daughter ride him?

MikeyXSuicide The drama. We’ll find out next time on Yelp Reviewers Suck...

Supermoose i choked cuz my mind is in the gutter

@@supermoose726 more like the other way around am I right? *Jumps Off Grand Canyon*

I'm pretty sure most of these reviews were written by spoiled teenagers lol

People *shocked* to find they CAN NOT take an animal home!!!

They were looking for the National Theme Park

It's not a park, it's a hole. Parks have dippin dots! Weren't you paying attention?

Probably mad they couldn't dump their kids somewhere.

"YOU SAID IT WAS A GRAND" -some guy who doesn't know what grand means

But… There’s no Dippin Dots :(

@@sweethysteria8737 What?! I need my Dippin Dots... :(

@@thecrowoncampus me 2... :(

@@josebales3944 me 3.... (っ_/●╭╮●)っ

Well, that took a turn

Yeah bro, it totally tried to rape his nose 😂

yeah pollen is just the plant equivalent to sperm :(

that's just a normal day in my book.

Those trees sound VERY artificial

Was it the work of UFOs?!?!

Tristan McQuern shouldn’t have said that SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT

Lol the rule is rule

..... dark

YOU CANT STOP ME

⭐☆☆☆☆ The power-tripping staff viciously forced me to wear a parachute, and don't even get me started on the large geriatric community.

Dnt relZw e thw parahcute

aa

Disap-plane-tment

You're Aviator205, who's Joe???

@@gabrielsmithdahl4067 Funny

@@nitron3515 Jesus dude, come on, you know how your supposed to reply, idc if its not funny anymore.

@@gabrielsmithdahl4067 Fine... Heres the old joke... JOE MAMA hahhahahhahah funny hhahah original

@@nitron3515 lol, gets me every time. Of you didn't want it, why'd you set it up so beautifully?

Saisanti Xiong lmao

Hahhahaa

Should've killed the tiger instead of the gorilla

**Harambe flashbacks**

@@missingnotheglitchmon actully most zoos I'm America are really good for animals and promote conservation. Like the Bronx zoo and the San Diego zoo are both really good examples.

That’s just Jarvis! Last week he yelled at a cactus after HE touched it

Just keep walking just keep walking What do we do? We walk walk walk

To be fair someone had to be recording this on video so I guess they assumed he was YouTubing or Instagramming or something.

Right XD XD there wasn’t editing then XD

One star

Same

⭐️ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ “My daughter just wanted a 3 or 4 geysers but the park rangers stopped her??!

Hippity Hoppity *Your geyser is now my property*

Exactly, there's already a place for that: Sea World or the circus ten years ago.

Shut up it put pollen in my nose

Hybrid Atom love your photos

And if you see someone verbally abusing your local Bird of Paradise, please tell someone.

Are you being sarcastic?!?!?

It is highly encouraged to not hurt the Bird of Paradise’s feelings, because it is highly sensitive and might put pollen in your nose if intimidated.

I am also Asian and I’m pretty mad after reading this, just because you are Asian does not automatically mean you eat dogs, the person who was commenting that was likely a teenager or child trying to be a smartass, still though it’s very offensive

Either this is an edgelord teenager or a die-hard Trump supporter. Both groups would so something like that.

How gross 🤮 people like that are awful

tf

Sounds like Panda Express hired someone.

He's really moving up in the world. I hear his next video might have shrub

123abc Sound is going to collab in his next video, too!!

I mean, it took 2 months of negotiation-

omg what if he collaborates with leaf

Dont forget that flower! Even though he wasn't that good.

I read this in a drew gooden voice

@@SkyheadStudio omg same

I can't express my hatred for your profile picture

@@lilackuki he just had a 3 course meal and is expressing how full he is after eating, nothing else…

YESS!

"One star"

That scene really confused me those plants are native far away from where he lives and VERY hard to grow i was very surprised to see it 😂

Lol basically. Imagine just driving past and seeing a grown man insulting a flower

@@flooshm *"w h a t?"*

Lol

What do they do just go up to you and expect you to grab handy dandy leash and just put it on one of the wolves

You're not subscribed to Jarvis just to Jarvis gold

My aunt was a park ranger and she always had the wildest stories. One guy rented a spot for tent camping, checked in, headed out for the spot... then came back a while later claiming his tent had been stolen. She tried taking a report, but when she asked for the description, he got confused. Turns out, he thought renting the spot meant all the gear would be supplied as well. Umm... Not so much, my man. Also, a ton of people asked when the deer turn into elk. I saw them do it, and it baffles me that the conflation of the two species is so common.

only a special breed known as a Karen is capable of this act

Icy what you did there.

Burn

A Mammoth disappointment.

@L , h u h

Emma Pullinen kinda sounds like he was planning to get his family mauled on purpose. Would explain why he was mad he couldn’t attract bears by leaving food around. The rangers were on to him.

Sir this is a McDonald's drive thru

Sir this is a store

Sir this is a Starbucks

Sir this is a alabama.

Sir this is *Insert Place here*

@Just Me just be rich

FAST1029384756J r/wooosh

@@astridbittersparrow5068 r/wooosh

Vicente and Friends 😂

It feels long till it gets cut early.

No you fool, stupid sheeple! It’s ALIENS!!!!!!

I yelled “BOMB” for self defense and then I got in trouble like wha???😤😤😤🙄🙄🙄

Don't forget brown

And sometimes darker green

Abandoned Channel is that a DHMIS reference

@@sweethysteria8737 oooooooooh stan that lil bit of Paige the notepad!

@@sweethysteria8737 Green is not a creative color!

Undertale fans: “You’ll get used to it.”

Billy: But Bobby says RU-vidrs r Boomers!

@@keikoe5661 nice

Amen

Rach, is that a reference to TAWOG?

Are we still doing the "nobody" thing?

NORCALXxMrDxX yes it’s still funny.

Cole Scully your profile picture makes your comment even better!🤣

NORCALXxMrDxX no it’s not

@@onedayillbesomething1570 It wasn't really funny when it first became a thing

"beCaUse THeReS aLWAys roOm fOr iMPrOVeMent"

@@TibsisTops My son's high school social skills (autism program) teacher used to say that everytime I asked him why he gave my son a B. Like his GPA is crap enough, why are you doing this?!?

@@tinabean713 I had an art teacher where the highest score was a 99% since there's always room for improvement. One point is fine but an entire letter grade is too much. But it also depends on the grading scale, for instance one point off on that principle then 7 for actual errors would be a 92, a 'B' when the 'A' range is 93 - 100.

"never been there. Never seen it. 5/5 (in worse cases 1/5)"

@@mssunnylunarain7 people *rate you?*

It’s probably a fake review. Why someone would post a fake review is beyond me.

Could be a military brat. I've travelled all across my country too and am still in university.

Though Jacob Hornberger won the most primaries and received the most votes, Jo Jorgensen was chosen as the party's presidential nominee on the night of May 23, 2020, after four rounds of voting

Yeah, Dude

Yuri Tarded Wait what?

@@AydenSchofield that's Jarvis Johnson the politician

He actually did it in his backyard

Linda M. ⭐️ ☆☆☆☆ Karen brought store bought cookies to the PTA meeting.

Joe M. ⭐☆☆☆☆ "Karen took the kids. Shit lawyer."

@@QueerAndHunger *who is joe*

Barbara J. ⭐☆☆☆☆ Facebook wouldn't let me speak to the manager. So horrible!

Im proud of this reply chain

But it can be fixed with the power of *FLEX TAPE*

@@someguywhosometimesmakesjo1006 i dont know how to tell you that this is a sex joke

Oof, I didn’t even realize (Also, yaay, Maki roll :D)

@Dallas Ziegler 😏 I get it.

Mam this is the grand canyon

Also lots of people go missing in national parks so dont do that

it honestly amazes me that people don't understand that the allure of a national park is that it's the *wilderness* where human tampering is minimal

@@burcebanning but the bears don’t personally serve me dippin’ dots, so 1-star /j

Some of the parks/accommodations have more amenities than others, but you have to do some basic research and set expectations accordingly. The lodges with nicer amenities are going to cost a premium. And generally, the parks out West are better maintained, probably because they earn more revenue. If you know these things going in, it shouldn't be an issue.

@@savannahstargaze lots of people need to consider guided treks if they don't have experience.

They don’t even pay taxes!

@@nemtosiltin14 how come they can get away with it but I can’t?

It's just...a really (admittedly REALLY) Big Hole. "Oh look. At all the dirt that aint there. Quick. Take a picture". No roller coaster. A drop like that BUILT IN ffs. No half mile Bungee Plunge. No imagination. No...flair. Flume ride: too long. No auto-photo service. Animals. Too few. Too far. Too boring. None ofthem talked or waved or let us pose the kids with them for pix.

That makes sense

Life threatening deserves one star, and that situation is indeed their fault. Def worthy of that rating tbh.

But that’s a legitimate reason

@@addison7624 yup. It's why that's the only 1 star review I've ever given.

Instead of a 1 star review that shouldve been a lawsuit

⭐☆☆☆☆ Clearly this post was made by aliens and I do not appreciate Jarvis accommodating such misinformation! If I could give this post 0 stars I would!

i saw a review of my old school that just said "i didn't go there"

Humans have already lost. People like that REALLY grind my gears.

Loads of those.

Amazon reviews that are 5 stars and start with “I haven’t received it yet, but...”

It's old people who see the option to leave a review and assume that they HAVE to.

I am the 69th like

Yeah my family goes camping all the time and we are never watched by the Rangers

"I punched a guy, tried to steal a TV and left spilt coffee all over the floor, why is mall security watching me???"

Funny where you found it

Thanks for rewrite them.

Your pfp makes this comment better lol

Maybe there was good service - and everything else was terrible. 1/5 'Good service (but that's it).'

@@o.s8573 how would you explain the reviews that have 5 starts but says "worst thing ever"

Maybe it’s backwards in some places.

good service, you get a gold star

give that review a bad review, 5 stars. THAT'll show him!

narzos well yeah why would you do that outside??

narzos, Your comment is hilarious and deserves way more likes.

To be fair, Rollercoasters in the Grand Canyon would be awesome

Zion Strickland and dangerous

​@@HollyHummingbirdriver How does the fact it's over the grand canyon make it anymore dangerous?

"ive seen better" wait, what? where? on mars? The grand canyon is the biggest on the entire planet! WTF is he talking about?

To be fair tho, I've been to every major national park in america, and yellowstone is by far the best. Edit: then the next part is trashing yellowstone. lol. School lunches? What? I thought i remembered several restaurants there. Maybe thats just what your parents are feeding you kid...

E

@@viivelvet G

H

J

Sam Barnard L

He has a job outside of RU-vid.

Felix Roux not anymore he quit software engineering. He’s a full time RU-vidr now

@@felixroux *had

I’ve heard it’s not even ........

Kind of ironic huh

I wonder what the yelp reviews are for yelp

@@asmolbean9300 Yelp has 2 stars on Yelp.

He also worked at Patreon so.

I came to this video JUST for this comment

@Jazmine Carroll Sure.

Lol😂

Lmao

I mean I’m pretty sure there’s such thing as gluten free baked goods

Oh Jesus Christ!

celiac's disease is rather serious though :\

i mean, if it was supposed to be gluten free stuff its kind of justified

What's funny is that it sounds like the friend themself is, in fact, gluten-free

What?

Comic The Adventurer 8:04 example.

You beat me to it. Bravo.

I love Ron.

Grand Canyon is just that bad huh

It was only so long until he got popular enough

Now I want to have a funeral at the grand canyon where they chuck my body off into it.

The Washington State is not just Seattle bro

@@HeortirtheWoodwarden notice i never said that...i dont even live in seattle

@@azizaaman4290 That just sounds like Seattle

@@HeortirtheWoodwarden i’ve lived in Kent, Des Moines, Renton, Tukwila, SeaTac and i’ve been to even more and so i can assure you i know what i’m talking about. of course it’s a bit of an exaggeration because i’m joking around but the experience is pretty much the same

@@azizaaman4290 Dude, all those places are in the Seattle area, I looked it up. They're just technically different cities, but it's still pretty much the same as Seattle. Why don't you talk about Spokane or Yakima?

their last name is "Asshole" for anybody wondering

@@graciedrawz3195 oh thx for letting me know :-)

If the bear actually attacked or threaten a tourists children, the tourist probably would be in their rights to kill it. But I’m assuming the bear didn’t actually threaten them in this post

@@sweethysteria8737 yeah it probably like looked at them, that and a human man cannot possibly kill a bear with his bare ((HAH)) hands, or even a few tools you’ll carry around the park.

Isa Flores yeah

Isa Flores they won’t give up their dignity for THAT

And Australians trying to like the video

RoadTo100subs are u on the pichufandom

Atomicus video Studios one star!

getting closer to the flower and smelling it is the only way to intimidate flowers

basic white girl lol the fact that he hearted this 😆

Lynn L He was getting hate like “Your gap is bigger than my future”.

I’m offended he wasn’t supposed to be cuter >.> he wasn’t supposed to turn into daddy XD

SxturnxSistersx ya because they had no future at all so who did they really roast like I mean I think an atom is bigger than their future soooo....

Oh yeah he is ;)

*have you been to Ohio whilst being black

A lot of astronauts come from Ohio, because it makes them want to leave the Earth

@@rachelhallie7483 LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

I feel disrespected :( I'm from Ohio-

Oop I’m moving to Ohio-

Are you a Greg or a Craig, I assume we are both guy

Drew gooden turns around, "me?"

Rumble Zero just came across Jarvis after making my way through Drew, Kurtis, Danny, and Cody. Am I being led down this path or what?

demev7488 yeah i live in seattle, and it doesn't go anywhere 😂

@@eh86055 pretty sure it was as well.

I've been to the Space Needle, and honestly, the price isn't worth it. I had more fun at Pike Place Market and the Woodland Park Zoo.

Sav Leigh I’m writing a one star review for the Space Needle because there’s no Space Haystack!!

☝️🤓